This story was recently told to a captive audience at Mikes wedding.
We were in town drinking in a church that has been converted into a nightclub, checking out the local talent. When Mikes drink fell out of his glass, over the balcony, and down this girls cleavage.
Unfortunately she was being chatted up by a bouncer at the time who decided Josh and Mike should maybe drink somewhere else that evening, and throw them both out on there arse.
Under normal circumstance, me and Ben would have followed them, but we were trying to get inside these two birds we were chatting to, so left them to it.
Josh and Mike are a dangerous combination on their own. Especially when they have had a shandy or two.
During the long walk home they had to cross a river on a bridge, below the bridge was a old wooden Boat that has clearly been dumped there as it failed as a sea worthy vessel.
In their drunken haze they knew that they lived by the river so decided to go home by boat rather than the more expensive taxi option.
Looking around for oars they found only one, Mike managed to get to it first.
Josh searched about and found a spade and soon they were pushing the boat into the water to start their voyage home.
Josh soon realised that the spade was not the best way to move the boat and made a grab for Mikes oar. Stamping on the bottom of the boat during the scuffle,
putting his foot clean through the bottom.
As the boat started to sink, Mike dived into the water and started the long swim back to the bank, fully clothed and fully drunk.
He turned to Josh and to his horror, sees him still in the boat , going down with it like the true captain he is.
“Josh?”
“yes Mike?”
“your drowning!!!”
“shit thanks dude” said Josh and he throw his newly acquired oar and started to swim, some distance behind Mike.
As Josh got to the river bank he noticed Mike, in handcuffs, having a nice chat to some nice policeman.
Thinking that they have been busted for nicking the boat, he had to think on his feet.
“ah there you are Mike” he shouted
“here’s that tenner man, cant believe you actually did the dare of swimming, you earned it
the police didn’t notice that Josh was dripping wet and that the tenner was soaked too.
It turns out that the nice police men, all their search lights the vans and the helicopter above were not looking for two drunk boat thief’s after all. They were after a guy with a knife.
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