I don't like hookup culture.

For those who do, and who are able to navigate its shoals and whirlpools without being humiliated and violated, I offer admiration tinged with puxzzlement. I feel very strongly that just trying to initiate sex outside the context of a committed relationship is incredibly risky. I feel like there's far too much of a chance of things going sideways.

I'm sure there's a protocol for no-strings-attached sex that somehow manages to avoid being objectifying, but I wouldn't pretend to even guess what it is, since for me, the whole idea of NSA sex is insanely objectifying. Sex without emotion just feels so empty to me. I've referred to it as a game of poles and holes, and without emotion to hold you to a person, that person becomes disposable. The thought that a person can be disposable disgusts me.

Enter Aziz Ansari, the latest "victim" of the #MeToo movement.

You're damn right "victim" is in quotes. Various columns have tried to paint Ansari as the victim in this sordid affair, when--to me at least--he behaved boorishly. Maybe what he did on his 'date' with 'Grace' wasn't a crime, exactly...but in the wake of all the other celebrities taken down by their own bad behaviour, you'd have to think Ansari must be one of the more ignorant specimens of man out there.

I'd expect the National Review to be all over this, blaming the real victim, and sure enough, they are; it surprised me and alarmed me to see the New York Times echoing.

Here's the story of their date. NSFW and you will cringe.

In point form:

• she shows up at his apartment and rather than ask what she'd like to drink (she prefers red wine), he simply gives her what he apparently thinks she should be drinking (white wine)
• they walk to an oyster bar, have dinner, and he's in a major hurry to leave,  Wine is still in both her glass and in the bottle he ordered. No word on the state of what's between his legs at this point, but I can sure guess.
• Back to his apartment they go. She compliments his countertops. He invites her to have a seat on one; he kisses her, puts a hand on her breast, undresses first her and them himself. 
• He tells her he's going to get a condom, whereupon she says "whoa, let's relax for a bit, let's chill".
• in response to this, he resumes kissing her, briefly performs oral sex on her, and jams his fingers down her throat to wet them so he can penetrate her digitally. 
• He continues to move her hand towards his penis, "five to seven times", after she repeatedly moves it away. She pulls back, again repeatedly, and he repeatedly moves forward. 
• He keeps asking her "where do you want me to fuck you?" She answers "next time" and he asks her "if I pour you another glass of wine now, would it count as our second date"?
• she refuses the wine, goes to the bathroom, splashes cold water on her face, emerges, and tells him how uncomfortable she is. 
• He acknowledges, suggests they just "chill" on the couch. She agrees and sits next to him.
• He points to his penis and asks her to go down on him. Shocked, she does, briefly.
• He makes out with her, then tells her he has to show her something in another part of his apartment, brings her to a mirror, and again asks where she'd like him to fuck her, rubbing his penis against her butt cheeks. 
• She clearly refuses his advances, he suggests they chill on the couch again, this time fully clothed, which they do, watching Seinfeld
• Once again Ansari sticks his fingers in her mouth and moves to undo her pants, she withdraws and arranges an exit.