Salaam!

Twins of Faith(TOF) Family Festival 2012 has officially ended. Wait til you hear what I have installed fer youh. *Wink wink*

So this event took place at Putrajaya International Convention Centre, from the 29th Dec til the 30th Dec, 2012. I went with some friends of mine, or shall I say... sisters in Islam. ;) The program started from 10am until 10pm. There were lots of talks from various speakers, and other programs were held too such as workshops, entertainment zone called the artist zone, a zone for skateboarders, the bazaar, etc. It was definitely worth the price you pay when going to an event like that, because you know you're just going there to gain more knowledge from the best of the best, and the best of the best are from all over the world too! I also loved how they put in slots for entertainment in between a few talks. Most of them are British and American, so just listening to their thick accent alone already entertains me in a way. Especially Omar Regan's impressions of the muslim versions of Chris Tucker and Elmo and Micheal Jackson. He actually shared his imagination on Elmo leading the prayers on Sesame Street Muslim version. Haha! Gosh is he hilarious. But he doesn't go about joking on stupid stuff that doesn't make sense. I mean, dude, making a fool of yourself ain't funny at all. People will be laughing AT YOU, not at your jokes. Now Omar Regan on the other hand makes jokes in a way that is praising Allah and His creations. MasyaAllah. Where else can I find a brother like him. And he's from the hood, yaww! Mmhmm. *snap fingers 3 times right-left-right*


So amigos, what did I gain? I'd be more than happy to share it with you guys. I'll try to share as much as I can but I'm sorry if I could not manage to share all of them here as I might forget a few points.

One of the main topics that I had learnt from this event would be love and marriage.

LOVE

Now love does not always necessarily mean the love between a man and a woman. In fact, love mentioned here is basically the love for Allah and His creations. At TOF, I have heard on "what is love?", "exemplary love", "give a little love" and "the love test". Now these are the topics that have been talked about during the main event.

So what is love? One can never know until they experience love. And the love for Allah is the best love of all. Scratch that. The greatest love of all, like that Whitney Houston song. Only better. But nothing can beat the love Allah has for His creations. Look at all the things that He's provided us in life so far. He's given us so much abilities, He's given us so many chances when we do mistakes, He gives us rahmat, He gives us wealth and health. That's more than what all the money in the world can offer! See, you can't buy love. The Beatles knew that when they wrote Can't Buy Me Love back in the 60s."For I don't care too much for money, for money can't buy me love." You should know that too. So we should do the things that Allah loves, to show our love. As real love should be demonstrated and not just talked about as you know, talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words. Ya Allah I pretty much say that in almost all of my blog posts. So you should know that by now if you're a regular here at The Real Life. Even one of the basics in finding sweetness in Imaan is love, as in the hadith related by Anas ibn Malik, may Allah be pleased with him, gives credit to what Ibn al-Qayyim mentions here. He reports: "The Messenger of Allah said, "Three (qualities); whoever possesses them, will find the sweetness of iman: that Allah and His Messenger are beloved to him more than anyone else, that he loves someone only for the sake of Allah and that he hates to return to kufr just as he hates to be slung into the fire."

So know that "whenever we know we displease Allah, don't feel as if it's the end of the world. Know that Allah wants to forgive you"(Sh. Daood Butt, 2012).  We must always seek for His forgiveness. And must always find a way to improve that relationship with Allah. We shouldn't be only turning to Allah for the things in dunya, or when we're facing difficulty. That love is superficial, it's fake. It's not real. When we turn to Him, it should be unconditional. Similar to how we should love a person for whoever he or she is like. Accept them as they are, no matter what, you will love them. Even better, we should love them for deen, as loving them for that will never fade, insyaAllah.

And the quality of that love? How do we see the quality? Well we can see it especially at the very first conflict. It's how you deal your problems with your partner, or any other of your loved ones, determines how true your love is. Similar to the love you have for Allah. Even during the times of being tested, you are patient, you believe in Allah all the time, you know that He knows what's best for you, you know that every hardship will come ease, even during the times of happiness, you never forget Him, now that is when you see the quality of love towards The Creator. According to Sh. Omar Suleiman, "hardship is what determines love". Indeed, it does.

Speaking of tests, know that you're loved when you're being tested by Allah, as Allah tests those He loves the most. The Prophet ﷺ said, “When Allah loves a servant, He tests him,” [Tirmidhi]. In a hadith qudsi (a hadith relating the words of Allah swt), Allah swt tells Jibreel to delay the response to the du`a’ of a servant because Allah swt loves hearing his voice [Tabarani]. Sometimes the answer to a test is that need for Allah swt, those long hours spent in the night, and the tears of sincerity. And know that He loves us all so much, that everything is a test. This whole life is apparently a test. It's how we deal with things, it's how we be patient, it's how we keep calm and bla bla on. Brother Abdurraheem Green shared a story on how his house had caught fire. The risk of someone dying was there, but alhamdulillah everyone was safe. Imagine yourself in that position. Would you not be worried, anxious, scared, wondering how could this have happened and what not? But you know what, Brother Abdurraheem smiled. He smiled because he knew that Allah has promised "verily with every hardship comes ease" (94:5). So he was like, "this has been very hard and difficult for me and my family. Surely something good is waiting to come at me". MasyaAllah. How many of us would be smiling instead of crying "my house! my things! my certificates! my trophies!" or whatever you would cry out for if your house caught fire. Not that I have that many certs or trophies to begin with but..I dunno. Whatever.

Hence, love. Show that love. Show love, and love will come back to you. Show mercy, and mercy will come back to you. And as a matter of fact, showing mercy can save lives. Showing mercy is showing what is needed to be human. Show mercy, and you will help yourself. So how do you share mercy towards others, even to the sinners? Assume the best of the person. Don't focus too much on the negative, and focus on the positive. Look at a person for their good qualities, not for all the bad they have done. And help them, by teaching them. Not by telling them "don't do this" and "don't do that" and "you're wrong you're wrong you're wrong". Help them. Have mercy on them. From the words of Sh. Abdul Rahman Chao himself, "when dealing with someone who's making a mistake, we have to be gentle. If we be too harsh, we will scare them away". This may apply to all parents especially in educating younger children. You gotta be smart on how to teach them to do the right thing. Giving them a spank on the arse and scolding them and being controlling won't make them know on what would be the right thing to do. So have mercy. And love.



MARRIAGE

I had only attended two talks on marriage during TOF, which is a talk on "My Big Fat Sunnah Wedding" by Sh. Daood Butt and "Happily Married, Blissfully Divorced" by Sh. Omar Suleiman.

Basically Sheikh Daood touched on the whole waleemah process, on what is sunnah, what can and cannot be done, what should and should not be done, who should you invite, etc. He had also touched on Malay weddings and the elements of it, whether appropriate or not. So what he had said is that the groom must definitely do a walimah. It's not compulsary for the bride to do one, but there isn't a problem if the bride's family wishes to do one. Better yet if you could just combine both into one big fat sunnah wedding, so you can save money, save time, save wedding invites, hence, save ink and save paper, in return saving mother nature *wink*.

Abdul Rahman bin ‘Auf r.a. narrated, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to me, “Have your walimah (wedding feast), even if it is with a single sheep.”
(Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim). So you still should hold a walimah after getting married, even if the food you serve is very little. Besides, the purpose of holding a walimah is to announce and celebrate the marriage, not to make people fat by serving the guests with all sorts of food. The newly weds should be treated like a king and queen, not the guests. But it seems to me that most people feel that you need to have a lot of money to get married. If you're talking in terms of providing nafkah, fine. But in terms of having a great wedding? We should just keep things simple, and just try to hold one that serves the purpose. But even I have my own dream wedding theme. So yeah, maybe I'd need a certain amount of money, but if getting married and having a halal relationship with my life partner is much more important to me, then so be it with that dream wedding. If my goal is jannah, then I'll get that dream wedding in jannah, insyaAllah. If I can't afford it means I can't afford it. But I want true love. I want love that Allah loves. I want that life partner, that companion who'll love me back and make me smile and accompany me to the journey to jannah. That's my desire. Should I compensate them because of money? I dunno, man. Society nowadays. And parents. I know its not easy to try to explain all of this to someone who claims to have "lived more than you hence knows better". But if they're open about it, then alhamdulillah. They don't have to like it, but they should atleast open up their minds to these sort of things. It's not like its anything ridiculous anyways. Wah, speaking like a marriage counselor? HAHA! No, not really. Man, I wish. Pfft. But I do know that there are many people who think a like as I do. This includes Sheikh Daood himself. In his own words, "we shouldn't stop people from getting married, we encourage them to get married". Because through marriage, people learn responsibility. Because marriage is a sunnah anyway. And it's good thing. The women now have someone to take care of them and protect them. No more "forever alone" crapola like how some of you like to say. So think about all the expensive wang hantaran and stuff, and if its troublesome, find a way to overcome the troublesome. No, not by robbing a bank, but perhaps by having a good discussion on it? Discussions can lead to good things, you know. Trust me, I've tried it. Just don't get emotional and defensive. Keep calm :)



I would quote the detailed Riwaayah(Narration) also recorded by Imaam Tirmidhi rahimahu(A)llaah.“When a man whose Deen and Khuluq pleases proposes marriage, then marry him. Unless you do it, there would be Fitna on Earth, and Great Fasaad”. They asked, “O Messenger of Allah sall Allaahu ‘alaihi wasallam even though he has nothing?” He reported,”When a man whose Deen and Khuluq pleases you proposes marriage, then marry him.” He repeated these words three times. So comes a man with a religion that pleases you, and a character that pleases you, marry him. But what about a man who has deen but no character and a man who has no deen but has character? Choose the one has deen. Because Deen is the only thing that will hold you together during hard times and deen is what holds the marriage together when nothing else can. And when you've chosen, istikharah. Ask for guidance from Allah, may he make things easy for you if it is good for you, and may he make things difficult for you if it is bad for you. A person will never regret asking guidance from Allah, be it what happens afterwards.


I'll finally end this super duper trooper long post now with words of Brother Abdurraheem Green. "If you want to know the true meaning of ikhlas, do something because you want to see the face of Allah." What he means is, doing it for the sake of Allah, because you want to enter paradise and spend that 1 hour date with Allah on Fridays; just you and Him. I had also learnt a lot on jannah, but that would make this post even longer. Perhaps another post? InsyaAllah. Hope that I've been helpful. Alhamdulillah to all the new knowledge, and may all of us (including me) practice and apply it in our lives. Til then, assalamu'alaikum. Goodnight. Wan'an.