Today effectively has been another of those days that are becoming a regular occurrence in the weeks and months of the life of ....me !!!! ,,.... typically i started with good intentions planning thoroughly for the day Ahead with the only way i know how ..... a double dose of nicotine and a large mug of caffeine (for all those that are people after my own heart this surely is the best and most effective way to start a day)

Still at this very moment i am somewhat surprised that i actually expected all my good plans to follow smoothly, as this is obviously not how my life has ever been and to be perfectly honest , not looking too super hot for the foreseeable future either (not that I'm bitter about that its all good,..... makes life interesting and all that ..... but jeez someone somewhere give me a break ).

A reason for this is that I'm not too up on organisation .... i find it a tad tedious and time consuming much preferring to go with the flow with things and that usually concludes with one of two possible outcomes ............. 1) something super fabulous that you could never imagine possible would occur or................ 2) everything goes tits up and what you initially feel could be the worst thing that could ever happen to you becomes the second worst thing that could ever possibly happen to you as instead something far worse than the initial act occurs instead .....(phew !!!!).

The second outcome tends to be a good description of my life as a whole at the moment ..... as previously stated its all my own doing and i shall obviously never learn ,so really.......... due to the fact that i have had a whole 29 years of being the same way, its ridiculous to think that i shall change now ... instead i need to accept this is the way that i am and instead reflect upon my daily events and instead laugh at the ridiculous predicaments that i end up in (that's right laughing with me .... not at me ).

Now today i was getting my self all hot under the collar as i have yet to pass my driving test .........There are numerous reasons for this, one being that i had an ex that promised me every Xmas and birthday that my special gift was driving lessons as promised the previous years before (eight i might add ) and which i have still yet to receive , another reason being that I'm actually petrified of driving after a rather disturbing experience that i had with a very helpful friend back in my teens, which involved trying to learn in a battered rusty old transit van .....and which ended with me sobbing in the front seat .... the local neighbourhood children running home to their parents crying and my then twelve year old nephew landing in the front seat after flying from the back seat when i stalled the van abruptly after not realising that.......... A) The neighbourhood children were running alongside the van whilst i was attempting to drive and B) That you had to apply pressure to the clutch whilst using the brake when driving otherwise the car stalls. After this rather fateful day (where i might add no one was hurt apart from my ego), i refused to learn to drive instead preferring to make full use of public transport instead and convincing myself that i was thinking of my health and walking everywhere kept me fit and healthy (blah blah blah !!!!!)

well i will admit now ... i was totally lying ... there i have said it out loud ... its there for all to see ..black and white ...sooooooooooooo............

I have now had a great number of lessons and booked my test which i thought was tomorrow ......i have felt sick all day after planning ahead booking the afternoon off work in advance and then contacting the angel of a driving instructor who has the patience of a saint and who i have kidded myself will actually miss the lessons that we have once i pass the test and booked myself a last minute lesson ...just for dutch courage and to convince myself that i can actually drive.

There is just one little snag though which i only realised after ringing my instructor to complain that she hadn't picked me up after work for my last minute lesson ....... my lesson was not today its tomorrow and my test is not tomorrow its the day after ... in all my well constructed planning ahead i had not realised that today was the 16th and not the 17th as i had initially thought ........and therefore i now have all the worrying and torment to go through (again) ..... this my friends is what happens................. when you plan ahead !!!!!!!!!!.....