Y'all… I’m fairly certain that I am not going to blog every day or any days past today but I wanted to use that title for today’s post.

I spent all of today on the new app that I downloaded to my phone: Grindr. I had previously stated that I wasn’t going to get it on “principle” and because I didn’t want to do hook ups, I still don’t. But I got it because I’ve always wanted to have it and I’m an adult who can make his own decisions… So I did.

Previously I had only been on Okcupid which was a good experience until it just kind of became depressing. I ended up paying for the service that lets you see who likes you and I didn’t exactly like what I saw. The guys that I was interested in were not interested in me. Tis life right? So I resolved to work a little more on myself physically in order to attract the kind of guy that I’m looking to land.

Yes I know, I don’t need a lecture about Body positivity and self love. I love myself and I love my body. No I’m not at the “ideal” of what I want but I also know that I’m a catch just as I am. I know… but there’s a fantasy image of myself and the guy that I’m looking for. I WANT to dare to make it come true. And I’m not even talking GORGEOUS guys, but gorgeous to me.

Body aside I got down because my conversations with other guys were so flat. Maybe I was boring guys to death or they- me. Perhaps there was too much of myself in my profile? Not enough? I know myself and I’d fuck myself for sure but am I not appealing to others?

So I decided to get with the grind and download Grindr. A few photo uploads, profile tweaks and preference sections later… I’m on Grindr and getting noticed.

I got propositioned three times, had a very nice chat with one guy and met someone I actually would have coffee with. Everyone saying that I’m attractive, with the same picture that I use on OKCupid. Now yes, they’re looking for sex and flattery is a real nice method of getting it. I’m not naive but my photo alone got engagement. Someone took the time and effort to at least say, hey can I blow you?

I turned everyone down as I relayed to them that I don’t do hook ups. Most of them completely understood and we’re thankful, upfront. Not typical I’m assuming but they took the time to ask. The other day I matched with a guy, which means he liked me first. I messaged him and got no response (on OkCupid.) So, although I like the idea of finding a nice guy via a “love app” it almost feels like everyone is too good for everyone else on there. (Again I’ve only been on since Oct)

So, we will see how long before I start hating Grindr and boys in general haha. But at least for right now… I feel sexy, wanted, “interesting” and hopeful that I can find a guy, somewhere, somehow. 😘😘😘