I wasn’t really your average typical mom. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I don’t have any regrets, I have always believed in living life to the fullest and doing everything I wanted to do, no matter what circumstance. I didn’t want to wait for things to come to me, I made things happen, and I wasn’t going to sit down and cry over spilt milk. So I did things my way when it came to having and raising my own child.

I was 17 years old when I gave birth to a baby boy. The minute I saw him, everything changed! I had always heard about that feeling, but I cannot stress enough the things that did change for me when the initial bond was built as he was growing inside of me and the even greater connection we had the first time I saw him.

Everything did change. I thought I was so selfish and immature before he was born, but after I saw him, I was ready to do anything for him or give my life up for his in a second. Some may say I thought only of myself, but in reality, I thought only of him and his future. I saw raising him as my responsibility to make him the best person he could be. So I didn’t do as others dictated, I may have listened and taken tidbits of things they said to teach my son, but in the end, I had to do what was best for us. So I did go to college, got both a bachelors and a masters degrees. I was always working, so I was not a stay-at-home mom, because I did not have that luxury. I worked, I went to school, attended most of his school functions and events as I could, he did spend time at baby sitters’ houses, day cares, and after-school programs. And he was taught the value of time and money, coupled with constant love and encouragement.

So now, 21 years later, he’s a junior in college, and I find myself feeling the effects of an empty nester. I do have the time to do the things I wanted to do, but the thing is I did do a lot of that with him. We did travel, we did go to parties, events, amusement parks, did all the sports, and we always had fun. He has had the best life I could have given him and now it’s time for me again.

I am excited at the next adventures of my life as I watch him fulfill his dreams. I have the time now to spend with my friends and family, to write again, to get in the car and go wherever I want at a moment’s notice. I don’t have the limitations that I had when he was a child, although I never really saw them as limitations. I wasn’t one to spend my weekends without him; I was the type to include him in all fun plans as possible. In reality, we both grew up together. He is used to getting up and going at the drop of a hat and he can interact with any adult, because he is used to them. It makes me happy that he has the confidence and self-assurance that I never had.

So idle hands have brought me here, to fulfill one dream I did put on the back burner. Although my life is full, and even though he’s not around, I still find myself rushing through life to get to the next thing I have to do. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. I say, bring it on, let me climb another mountain, because given what I already have been through, nothing else could possibly be harder.

~A