We started a relationship together on February 8th– then went on our first official date with each other on February 12th. That’s why I often count two anniversaries. But when it came to February 14th, I had a bit of a dilemma. Valentines Day is usually a day where you give your loved one a present, and I was afraid to overwhelm him with too much– yet what I wanted to do was exactly that.

After much deliberating and sneaky shopping around during the week when I wasn’t being with him (and I was so excited all the time I felt like my heart would burst– actually, I still feel like that and I think I’ll keep on feeling this way when he’s around) I settled on getting him two things: a bracelet, and a Belt. The leather wraparound bracelet was made of black and brown strips of leather, and ran around his wrist three times. The reason why I picked that was that I noticed on our first date that he wore black and brown elastic hairbands on his wrist, and when I asked why he sheepishly shrugged and said that it was a bit of a habit and he likes how it looks, though it is a bit out of place for someone that does not tie his hair. The second thing was a bit of a gamble, because while I settled on getting him a belt due to noticing that he had chunky, studly belt on almost every time I saw him– I was a bit iffy on choosing the design. It was between a tasteful tan belt with dark brown designs of birds of prey, or an eyecatching Japanese flag. I liked the first choice because I remembered that one of his favorite colors was brown, and that I felt it suited him and his style. The second one I liked because I wanted to make fun of him a bit. In the end, I chose the birds. Something about their solitary but strong form drew me to it. It reminded me of him. Months later, we played a personality game and he chose a bird of prey as his favorite animal because they are free, independent, and powerful. So I guess what I saw in the birds was something I saw in him.

There’s a story behind how exactly I gave him his belt, but only a few people know it. It was pretty sneaky, and included me hiding it. Maybe I’ll tell you too sometime, but it might be better discussed with diagrams. In return for the belt, he gave me his favorite, treasured stud belt that one of his best friends had given him– and in return for the bracelet, he gave me his grandmother’s beautiful bracelet. Needless to say, I was very touched. While what I gave him did have thought and meaning behind them– what he gave me was so much more. The belt immediately became a frequently worn part of my wardrobe, and the bracelet always sits nearby me in a pretty spot on my mantle.

Because of Lou’s slim waist, the belt was actually too big for him. But he deliberately wore it for me, even though his pants would slip down. Eventually, it got put away until he popped a fitting hole for it– but in the meantime, he wore the bracelet everyday. It made me happy to know that he carried a piece of me with him all the time, and when that bracelet wore out from daily use I immediately replaced it with a more hardy one. I want to always be a part of him, even when I’m not physically there. To this day, it still makes me happy to see Lou wear the belt, and I can’t help but smile whenever he asks to borrow his old belt from me when he comes over.

Today, Lou forgot the belt I gave him after he left. I picked it up during the wake of him going home while I tidied up a bit. I was going to wrap it around itself so that I can place it on the chair where I keep all of Lou’s stuff so that it stays organized and nothing gets lost, but while doing so I noticed how rough the fabric of the belt felt. The belt used to be smooth, with a light tan color that was almost creamy, but now it’s taken on a darker tone and even has a different tint to it. The hole he punched is extremely worn down, and there are many dark areas of the belt worn down by wear. The printed design on the fabric is flaking off, but somehow… I like it this way. It looks like it’s taken on more personality from it’s owner– like it’s gained a bit of a rugged edge despite it’s rather sensitive graphics.

It makes me happy to see his belt worn out, or to see his bracelet scuffed up. It means that he’s using it. He even wore the ring I gave him even though it didn’t fit and was a bit of a pain, and eventually tied it onto a keychain. In fact, I gave Lou so much stuff that he started to look a little over accessorized as he tried to keep everything on him, such as a Gloomy keychain on his wallet chain. I think at one point we had a discussion where he asked me to stop giving him accessories, so I gave him something useful– a Samsung P3.

Lou’s belt is now perched on top of his other belt, along with two bottles of facial powders, two t-shirts, and his South Park pajama bottoms. Even though all these things don’t amount to one Lou, I like having his scent around my room.

His belt may be scruffy and faded, but it just means that it’s well loved from frequent use… and that makes me glad.