So, I actually let William read through this blog. Nobody whom I know in real life has ever had the link to this, except when I have given people direct links to a post. It made me feel really stupid, that he was reading everything I had ever really thought, because here is one place I can actually be honest. But, this is who I am, he can either take it or leave it.

We have been discussing a lot about how I portray the negative to people, instead of stating the positive too. I do that a lot, don't I? But, I will never ever agree that he is right ;).

Anywho, on a different note. I may be going home on Monday for Christmas. I hate feeling torn, I want nothing more than to spend Christmas with William, but mom is saying he can't come home with me. So it's choose between my grandma and William, which may just be the hardest decision I've ever had to make. I can barely stand to spend hours away from him, let alone weeks, and Christmas!? Bullshit in my eyes. My mom doesn't like him because he "stole" me, but that's not how I look at it at all. He rescued me is the only way to legitimately put it.

On the note of what this blog was originally about, I should be losing weight, but definitely not the right way. I need to start willingly exercise, need to start eating healthy, need to start doing so much more. I eat maybe once a day, and walk when we have to go somewhere. I need to walk up to cubs and get groceries, but we all know how that went last time I tried. I hate being afraid of the town I'm in, I hate being afraid of the bus, I know I need to get over it, need to grow up, but it's not exactly easy.

Well, I am going to go either play Sims or read, at least I'm blogging all the time, as promised. Also reading other peoples, but not commenting as often.