Yes, you Read Correctly. The only "work" I'm doing is trying to stay positive. However, that kind of work doesn't pay the bills. On the other hand, if I'm happy I won't create more bills.
For those of you who may not realize, I'm bi-polar. It's controlled by medication and plenty of patience from those around me. If handled properly it doesn't rule my life. There was a time that it did rule my life. It ruled all parts of my life. It ruled my family's life. It has almost been responsible for ending my life a few times, okay quite a few times. Thankfully I've been free from bad thoughts for awhile now. I do have to watch it though.
How does this relate to paying the bills and/or not creating more bills? To put it in monetary terms, medication (without health insurance) is usually upwards of $500 per month. Yes you read correctly, "per month". Oh but if I am covered under an insurance plan that cost will be approximately $100 monthly. That is just to keep my current medication refilled. Since the human body is so amazing and is always adapting to our environment, the medication doesn't always work for long periods of time. The lifespan of a medication is normally a couple of years. That is in the best case scenario. Worst case scenario, I could go through 2 to 3 different meds before one is found to work properly.
The medication is only a drop in the bucket to the biggest expense of all. That expense is when I have to go to the hospital as an inpatient. Imagine five to seven days of inpatient hospital care.
Yes, the bills just keep adding up. Are you thinking that this could add to my demise? Well, actually it has happened before. However, I have a wonderful husband who reminds me that I am loved, important and special...and that each incident is just a bump in the road.
It's been 15 years since my "official" diagnosis. On top of that it's been 25 years since I can first remember been so depressed I couldn't function. I will have to drive down this road for the rest of my life. But, the silver lining to all of this...(yes there is a silver lining)...you have a lot of experience in introspection AND since this is normally genetic...I have a jumpstart on keeping my girls from years of being undiagnosed.
Maybe someday I'll go into the in's and out's of manic depression. For today I will work on keeping my mind focused on the positives....my husband, my girls, my friends and that, yes things have always worked out in the end.
For those of you who may not realize, I'm bi-polar. It's controlled by medication and plenty of patience from those around me. If handled properly it doesn't rule my life. There was a time that it did rule my life. It ruled all parts of my life. It ruled my family's life. It has almost been responsible for ending my life a few times, okay quite a few times. Thankfully I've been free from bad thoughts for awhile now. I do have to watch it though.
How does this relate to paying the bills and/or not creating more bills? To put it in monetary terms, medication (without health insurance) is usually upwards of $500 per month. Yes you read correctly, "per month". Oh but if I am covered under an insurance plan that cost will be approximately $100 monthly. That is just to keep my current medication refilled. Since the human body is so amazing and is always adapting to our environment, the medication doesn't always work for long periods of time. The lifespan of a medication is normally a couple of years. That is in the best case scenario. Worst case scenario, I could go through 2 to 3 different meds before one is found to work properly.
The medication is only a drop in the bucket to the biggest expense of all. That expense is when I have to go to the hospital as an inpatient. Imagine five to seven days of inpatient hospital care.
Yes, the bills just keep adding up. Are you thinking that this could add to my demise? Well, actually it has happened before. However, I have a wonderful husband who reminds me that I am loved, important and special...and that each incident is just a bump in the road.
It's been 15 years since my "official" diagnosis. On top of that it's been 25 years since I can first remember been so depressed I couldn't function. I will have to drive down this road for the rest of my life. But, the silver lining to all of this...(yes there is a silver lining)...you have a lot of experience in introspection AND since this is normally genetic...I have a jumpstart on keeping my girls from years of being undiagnosed.
Maybe someday I'll go into the in's and out's of manic depression. For today I will work on keeping my mind focused on the positives....my husband, my girls, my friends and that, yes things have always worked out in the end.
