Now I know I'm a lil chunky but I also know that I ain't that bad...but I guess my quack of a doctor thinks so. I've been having this really bad heartburn/acid reflux for a few years now but every time I go to the doctor, he just prescribes another type of pill but not before telling me that I'm a hippo and I need to watch what I shove in my mouth. Well maybe not in those exact words but he tells me that I need to go on a diet and "modify" my food intake, but somewhere between his mouth and my ears it kinda jumbles together and sounds alot like HEY FATTY, DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU WERE FAT? HUH FATTY? I guess doctors must be trained to instantly spot the extra calories accumulating on a patients body...anyway, So after a particularly bad bout of heartburn, not being able to eat much of anything for a few days and consequently losing a few pounds, I schedule an appointment. The whole time I'm thinking, if he tells me to watch what I eat this time I'm going to sit on him! Well he didn't, at least not right away. He orders a couple of labs and then he comes back and says:

"We'll have your results in a couple of days but I don't know that there's anything else I can give you. You know sometimes being overweight will do these things."

What?! I'm not even going to get into what I really wanted to say to him, I'll just move on to part two of this whole debacle. Two days pass and I go to my follow up appointment and lo and behold they find evidence of H. Pylori (a bacteria in the stomach that sometimes breaks through the lining and sometimes causes ulcers and hmm...EXTREME HEARTBURN!). So he prescribes me a course of antibiotics and I kid you not, it's only day 4 of 10 and guess what? Yep that's right no heartburn what so ever; gone! When I go in for my follow up I'm gonna mention to him how those antibiotics really worked wonders on my fat...