I got your text earlier, asking about how I feel. Sorry... I was driving and my phone was going dead - so I thought I would blog it instead. Bottom line is that I feel awesome right now. Physically, I think I've come a long way. 50 lbs is still less than 1/3 of the total Weight Loss I need to achieve, but it's made a huge difference. I've went from a size 28 to a size 22. I feel so much more confident, though. I no longer think that everyone is staring at me because I'm so fat. Now, I think people are staring at me because I'm HOT! I like the way I feel in my clothes. I love wearing heels and not having my feet hurt after 5 minutes. I love being able to look at myself in the mirror. And I found out yesterday that I even like taking pictures now!

The past couple of weeks I know I have not been as focused on my weight loss as I should have, but I think that LIFE has just got in the way a little. The great thing, though, is that just because life got the front seat for a minute, I did not throw my weight loss efforts to the curb! I think I was able to do BOTH pretty well. I celebrated my birthday, I ended the school year, and I dealt with family issues and stress without losing sight of my weight loss goals. I think the main reason I am able to do this now is because I have changed HABITS that lead to my downfall every time.

Things like "treating" myself to a candy bar. Or drinking too many sodas to stay awake. Or eating fast food too much. And basically just saying, "I'll start over tomorrow." Fuck that! I'm not starting over ANYTHING... I will keep on keeping on no matter what! I will NOT eat that candy, and I will NOT drink that soda, because it's not worth it. Yeah, it might be easier to go drive-thru or order pizza, but that extra effort it takes to prepare a healthy meal is crucial to my success.

I WILL be successful this time. Something in me makes me know it. And I also think I will help other people get there, too. I don't know if I ever told you this, but over a year ago, the ex and I were sitting on the porch having a discussion about the future. We were broke, and basically brainstorming about what kind of home-based business we could get started in. At the time, we had different goals for this business. My goal was to help people and be inspiring, and his goal was to turn a profit. I told him that it would be great if I could find a "diet pill" that actually worked, start taking it and lose a lot of weight, then help other women lose weight by also taking this pill. Then we could start selling the pill - but first it had to be a product that we both believed in. I would blog about it along the way, but basically be a walking advertisement. He agreed it was a good idea, and we did do research. But he wanted to find "any" pill that was cheap and easy to buy in bulk. I wanted to find a pill that actually worked, that I could put my name behind. Like most of our ideas - it never came to fruition.

This is what I always think about when I think of Kandee. I think it's meant to be...