Ruff-ruff!! Hello humans! Since my last post 10 steps to world domination, I've been thinking about what's next after you all become my loyal followers. As your future world leader or like I prefer to be called Queen Fluffy, I wanted to lay down the law.
Every leader needs rules or else the followers will be like wandering sheep. There won't be too many changes.
Note if you are caught not following my rules, there will be consequences. You'll be taken to a special island and we'll mindwipe you and upload what's necessary for you to be more compliant. The pets and other animals will let me know if and when you step out of line.
Fluffy The Puppy's 10 Rules
1. Your work day will only be 7 hours long. Over that then you're disobeying me. No working on Sundays and special public holidays. You get one other day off in the week. That means you have a 5 day work week. I could make it less, but then nothing will get done.
2. Each day around 5 pm you will tune into the Fluffy channel where I will give you a tune-up. The mind control needs to be updated now and again.
|Followers tuning into Fluffy channel|
3. At least an hour a day will be spent playing with your Pets. Another 30 minutes to an hour for training if your pet does not know the basic obedience commands. No excuses! Kids will have an extra subject Pets 101 in school where they will learn to train and take care of pets. It starts at a young age. I see some adults need training too.
4. The pets eat with you. If they don't, I'll know.
5. Breeding pets will be illegal. You'll need permission from me and I'll only authorise it if there's a pet shortage.
6. Every household is required to have at least one pet. I understand some personalities prefer one over the other. Pets in shelters will automatically be matched to a Human to take care of them. My human will write the software application that matches a pet to a suitable human. Her programming skills are a bit rusty, but that's nothing a little bit of yelling at her won't fix.
The pet will be delivered to your doorstep and both of you will be escorted to Fluffy island immediately for training and bonding exercises. The excuse of "I have a busy lifestyle" will no longer be applicable because of shorter work hours. If you are allergic to pets we'll test you for allergies on different breeds. Don't worry! We'll find you a hairless pet if we must.
7. Killing or hurting a pet is illegal and you will be labelled a murderer. The three headed monster will deal with you. They are in charge of 'special cleanup'. There's a black one that looks like a hellhound. There will be no mindwipe for you sorry. Mr. Hellhound is waiting for you.
8. I like a clean world. Those humans who don't have jobs will help with cleanup. Those who litter and pollute will be sent for mindwiping and reprogramming.
9. All wars and crime will end immediately. You know the drill! Try anything and the animals will deal with you. Know when I say animals, I mean all the animals. I'm sure we can get the birds, insects and everyone in the oceans to join forces and team up. Go ahead! Be scared! Grrr...
10. I'll make sure everyone is happy. If you're not, to Fluffy island you go.
There it is! All you have to do is follow my rules and there won't be any trouble. See, I just want to make this world better. A doggie sees all the evil and wants to eliminate it. We are bringers of joy. So get on board humans!
Job: Doing puppy stuff, part-time blogger
Future plans: World domination
Likes: Biting feet, hands, destroying everything in sight and cuddles
Dislikes: Baths, being picked up and self-cloning Needleman
Pic credit: Renza human took pics of me and edited. Mixed with Pixabay image.
P.S. I've selected an assortment of personalised products below. When I'm Queen Fluffy you and your pet will be required to wear your pet's name on you at all times. The paw print is for identification purposes so that we know the pet is yours. They are affiliate links and we'll get a few cents per click to go towards my world domination fund. It will cost you nothing to click humans. Thank you! Ruff!
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