You ever wake up one Morning and think the world is going great, just to have something blind-side you on a personal level that can ruin the whole rest of your day?

The thing is, I should have known better it was going to bite me in the ass, and I knew it was a possibility as soon as I did it.....but the flesh is weak.

I hurt my wife's feelings today by something I did in the past...something I told her I wouldn't do again, but I did....and I have no one to blame but myself, and no real plausible defense either.

No, I didn't get in trouble with the law, nor did I steal, drink, do drugs, or cheat. I broke a promise, and I understand why she would be upset with me. I guess I would be upset too. You see, she left to go on a business trip a few weeks back, and when she was gone for that week, I viewed some adult material on the web. Something I told her I wouldn't do, but I did, and when she was hoem today, she discovered my perusal on the PC.

Does this mean that I don't love my wife? Of course not, but I had a lapse in judgement, and there is no sorry I can say, no argument I can plead, no promise I can make that will lessen the sting any less.

I go home in a few hours, and I'm sure the topic will be brought up....The bad thing is I go out of town on business tomorrow for a week, so of course I am leaving the house on not the best of terms. There will be no pleasant goodbyes tonight or tommorow morning. I know I must go home and take my lumps and browbeating, and I really cannot raise my voice in defense or plead insanity, or make assurances it won't happen again. I said it would never happen again in the past, and yet I did anyway, so that whole line of thinking is shot.

Ugggg.

I know how much it hurt her, by what she said to me: "Jayson, I am so over you right now." That hurt, and it should, and it does. A different kind of hurt than she is experiencing right now.

It's going to be a long day, and even a longer night.

Man, I'm screwed.