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Placebo Effect Blog


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Sometimes my brain oozes out thoughts and they splash land on paper where I then post them up for your reading pleasure. Enjoy my brain ooze.
Emulsion
2023-09-28 04:27
"Emulsion" They said I should grieve but instead I swallowed it like a lump of coal; painfully pushing it through scratching everything on the way down leaving traces of itself… Read More
Would You?
2023-09-28 04:21
"Would You?" If you lost me how would you feel? Would you have a hole that you would quickly fill? Or would you remember me and any of the things we were and get glimpse… Read More
With Or Without
2023-06-15 03:37
"With or Without" When was the last time I even looked up at the sky, took a moment for myself and really existed away from memory to enjoy what I actually see, to really be p… Read More
Retrospection
2023-06-15 03:32
"Retrospection" If there was a time where I didn't feel broken I don't remember it, Don't know when that could have been because as far back as my mind can stretch… Read More
Dual Points
2023-01-25 06:53
"Dual Points"Below a moonlit sky my eyes slowly close as I inhale as much cool air as my lungs can hold,Keeping it for a moment until my heart beats through my chest… Read More
A Brief Glimpse
2023-01-24 02:01
"A Brief Glimpse"The long hours of the nightdrape over me like a large wool blanket laying heavy on my shoulderspulling my frame toward the floorhunching overas my head a… Read More
Take A Breath
2023-01-21 17:30
"Take A Breath" A very potent mix of emotion and dread mixes with my blood dilating my eyes as the air in my lungs slips out from between my lips like silky line… Read More
Faintest Anxiety
2023-01-21 17:27
"Faintest Anxiety" There is a thought inside a memory somewhere for me, however, it is unreachable now as it has passed this moment. A notion I can still feel but can't rem… Read More
Back Into The Ether
2023-01-21 17:25
"Back Into The Ether" I wish I could exist outside the moment, away from the violent colors of reality and inside the gray hazy mist of memory, To be able to… Read More
Fleeting Winter Flakes
2022-11-29 03:30
"Fleeting Winter Flakes"The soft crunch of snow    beneath my feet   feels like it did then   only for me to remind myselfthat time has gone by,  &nbs&hell…Read More
2022-11-15 03:43
I watch my icy breathslide out over my lipsas it fades into the winter airgoing from icy lines to a silky haze,I watch how my memory dissolves into timefading away as a velvet… Read More
Singularity
2022-11-06 18:19
"Singularity"Pull back far enough from this momentand you lose all beauty into a single point.   The details disappear into memory.      All the hurt and t… Read More
That Place
2022-10-25 03:59
"That Place"It was nightwhen I finally finished cleaning.   You had left long before now,   weeks before me.I packed all the boxes of things you left,of things you t… Read More
I Can't Leave
2022-10-23 01:29
"I can't leave" I close my eyes and there in the black I am distracted by the images and shapes that appear from nothing to paint stories I don't remember but somehow feel familiar… Read More
We Are Connected
2022-10-21 06:07
"We Are Connected"As much as I hate it,we are connected,when you hurt, I hurt.When you are in pain, I feel the guilt and don't know where it came,I just know the strands of existen… Read More
Another Face
2022-10-20 03:44
"Another Face"I can't heal the hurt that I haveand it's corrosive.   Rotting me from the insideand growing to the healthy parts of me.I feel it at the edges.   Stretching… Read More
2022-10-20 03:02
"You're Not Alone" The candle flickers from across the room. The shadows it casts dance over one another as the coolness of the night settles in and that's when you begin… Read More
Who Am I Feeling?
2022-10-20 02:53
"Who Am I Feeling?" Where do all those moments go once the stream of seconds have moved on, once time has left this point behind and continued on to a new one? They say time… Read More
A Sense Of Self
2022-10-20 02:50
"a sense of self" There, just beyond the dismal glow of the computer screen one can lose a sense of identity when lingering inside misery for too long. Wandering its endle… Read More
It's All Just A Moment
2022-10-20 02:47
"it's all just a moment" Looking back over the course of my time I find I could only ever have existed for a moment, barely a life, but never for more than a moment. None of us have… Read More
Just A Minute
2022-10-20 02:44
"Just a Minute" It's never just a minute, is it? Here I am again waiting, drinking this beer alone below the dark glow of this bar room. I don't know why I keep doing this. T… Read More
A Familiar Goodbye
2022-10-06 05:59
"a familiar goodbye"There's a saturated cryto the false void of silenceI want to release    and these walls taunt me    with their poise of immovable still… Read More
Far Beyond
2022-09-30 05:02
"Far Beyond" Somewhere among the distant dark, Beyond where the black stars hang Exists some sort of sentience, A kind of perception with eons of existence. Treating time as a… Read More
Lighthouse
2022-09-30 04:49
"Lighthouse"There in the darknessamong an endless hazy fogshines a source of guidancefrom far off in the distant dark.Even as the sky is shrouded from viewwith all its stars hidden… Read More
For Fear
2022-09-24 23:21
"For Fear"I don't look at anyone in the eyes for fear they may    discover the sadness    I'm hiding    just behind the gloss… Read More
Antiques
2022-09-24 20:50
"Antiques" My words have finally seemed to dissolve away from me like fizz in water, dissipating into almost nothing, like it was never even there. My thoughts have become memory and… Read More
My Howling
2022-09-24 20:42
"My Howling" A howling exists in my heart, I feel its rage, its ache, I can feel its primal, feral, existence as it sends its angry sorrowf… Read More
Just Then
2022-09-24 20:39
"Just Then" I've existed for too long, emerging from silence only to find the words I knew are all gone. I don't recognize the face I see in this mirror, there's a lifelessness to… Read More
What I Was
2022-09-24 20:33
"What I Was" There was a silence that followed me as a shape, it lingered around on the edges of most sounds creating a ghostly figure and outline of some invisible being, feeling it… Read More
Marked
2022-09-20 04:56
"Marked"A lunar gloom glows throughthe cotton clouds above,   illuminating an otherwise   deathly deep black sky   that hovers over the world   s… Read More
2022-09-20 03:33
"A Figment of My Imagination" I'm not fighting against your memory, I'm fighting against the notion that perhaps you were right about me, The pain has long since subsided but I look in… Read More
2022-09-20 03:25
"Only A Distance Away" I can't keep up, my legs won't let me keep chasing; My lungs burn as I breath in gulps of air screaming to the sky with clenched fists and the pain of your memory in… Read More
2022-09-20 03:21
"I'm Tired" I feel it at the edges of my being, that extra exhausted feeling, the weariness in my knees, the tired tug and pull of my joints, the sandy grind in my bones, It seeps in f… Read More
2022-09-20 03:11
"Before We Get Too Old" Let's take a chance, You and I, before we get too old. To look at seconds past together and remember stories we had hand in hand, To have those walks through the ne… Read More
2022-09-20 03:02
"Secrets" There are so many internal battles being fought in private, ...just below the surface. Struggles no one will ever see. Emotions guarded behind an impenetrable fortress. I… Read More
2022-09-20 02:56
"Shadow People" My eyes roll forward from sleep as the skin that lay overtop pulls back revealing the room to me, but doing so doesn't wake my body from the cavernous black in which I was… Read More
2022-09-20 02:50
"Early Fucking Mornings"I sit in the quiet darkness of morning; just reminiscing. The birds have begun to sing their songs, chirping their lyrics from the power lines. The d… Read More
2022-09-20 02:44
Everyone says the same thing, "THIS is real, right now, this. This is reality. I'm real, you're real." But how do they know for sure? How can I be certain? It all can just be a b… Read More
A Moment Of It
2022-08-24 03:41
"A Moment of It"In the rigid rock linesof these enormous bouldersthat are vertically splitting the sandy layered orangesof historythat stretch down towardthe world from a heav… Read More
2022-08-05 07:11
"My Heart Bleeds"Seeping in from the edges of my perceptionthese dreams begin to tearthrough my well-being,   Ripping and shredding      the delicate fabri… Read More
No Destination
2022-06-28 06:00
"No Destination"Every day I disappear from the world a little more,    sinking back and away     into a desolate landscape.Nothing of worthstretching in every w… Read More
Only Knowing
2022-06-16 04:32
"Only Knowing"There are moments in my lifewhere what I seeand what I perceive are different,     it's like seeing      the here and nowthrough a memor… Read More
I Wish I Knew...
2022-06-11 16:36
"I Wish I Knew..." It's gone, all those days I just knew would never end. Gone...Goodbye... every time the day begins to end, remembering all over again, I remember because it's all still… Read More
When The Good Started To Fade
2022-06-07 04:47
I remember whenthe good started to fade,when your smiles becameless and less every day,and the spacein between our wordsgrew so largesilence becamethe only waywe communicated.I still remembe… Read More
Just For Us
2022-06-03 05:23
"Just For Us"There's something safeinside nostagia,something we all remember being,     a stretch of time      where we still felt     the w… Read More
Hint Of An Image
2022-06-01 01:09
"Hint of an Image"Barely a silky traceof a shape,   I can almost see the glimmer   in your eyes        --whoever you are,I can see just the faintest i… Read More
The Demon In Me
2022-05-25 02:57
"The Demon in Me" Can I keep it secret? Can I keep it hidden? Keep it on the fringes of my life... I forget to remind myself of the temptations that linger on the edges of depression… Read More
Erosion
2022-05-25 02:52
"Erosion" My blood stained eyes hold weary the wear of the day and gaze out to the blur in between my face and the space my eyes are aimed, All the while line after line sn… Read More
A Splay Of Affection
2022-05-25 02:49
"A Splay of Affection" A thick syrupy darkness fills my room leaving me able to glance into the void, to relive certain memories, it's a rare deep shade of gloom that allows my madness of… Read More
Refraction Of Memory
2022-05-25 02:39
 "Refraction of Memory"I see it at the edges of my eyes sometimes, a ghostly shade floating gently from space to space, Perhaps it's an echo of an existence, And every time I loo… Read More
Never Even There.
2022-05-25 02:38
"Never Even There."As much as I am sorry for telling you those awful things, They're still true, I just regret having to be the one to tell you. You were at one time everything to me, t… Read More
Morning Ritual
2022-05-17 03:48
"Morning Ritual" My eyes slowly flicker open as the morning hues of soft light begin to streak across the sky, My morning ritual is set in motion as sun light pours through my bedroom windo… Read More
Mending
2022-05-17 03:43
"Mending" I've gone through most of my life trying to find value in myself through other people's filters, trying to be the solution in other people's riddles, The world just feels e… Read More
A Mangled Mess
2022-05-17 03:43
"A Mangled Mess"My gnarled, mangled, mess of flesh is all that's left in the mirror. A coppery metallic taste of blood mixed with my liquor to wash away any regrets. What do I know about… Read More
I Don't Regret You
2022-05-17 03:16
"I don't Regret You"I still think about you     -sometimes,It's fascinatinghow your memory isn't even an image anymore;     but more like    &nbs&hell…Read More
Everything Burns
2022-05-06 05:08
"Everything Burns"I......We feel so distant     even though you...      are sitting right therenot a few feet away,I can see you,hear you,almost touch… Read More
Staring At Me
2022-05-04 05:47
"Staring at Me"The night air chills my cheeksas I pull a cigarette from a packI keep in my inside coat pocket.I need to quit but tonight it's like a ritualand this is my proph… Read More
Homeless
2022-05-04 04:53
"Homeless"The smell of urine follows me where ever I go, The eyes of judgment seem to follow me as well, the doubt that creeps in from some far off corner in my mind gains momen… Read More
What It Felt Like
2022-05-01 00:45
"What It Felt Like"I remember what that felt like,     when the world felt     infinitely huge     and yet     every corner of ita… Read More
Is The Future Frozen?
2022-04-14 04:59
Is the future frozen     like the way we perceive the past?Never to move      untilwe reach itand experience it?Just another moment     for… Read More
I Will Destroy You
2022-02-23 07:19
"I Will Destroy You"There's a rage brewing in me.I'm so sensitivethat I will hurt you back and stabwith deadly precisionso you couldn't be able to fake the painto attack back.You would… Read More
Oh God, Why
2022-02-21 00:28
"Oh God, Why"On a midnight stretch of timesleep seems to escape me.So, I reach for another drinkbut find my glass empty.I lumber toward the kitchenbut before I doI have to take another piss… Read More
Memories Again
2022-02-17 07:58
"Memories Again"I blocked you outfor so longI forgot how you feltin my memories,I forgot about those years you affected me,I even forgot what you looked like,I, however,Did not RealizeI also… Read More
Here For The Ride
2022-02-16 04:55
"Here for the Ride"The flickering flame     of candle light     dances over my face     as I contemplate every regret     my life… Read More
I Know Better
2022-02-16 04:11
"I Know Better"I see people everywherethat are not there,They existat the edges of my perceptionwhere the safety of realityand all things knowablefray.They sayit's all in my headthat it's no… Read More
In This Moment
2022-02-02 05:49
"In This Moment"It is perhaps     this dark and dreary nightthat I'm sitting here againreaching this whiskey's end.I erase my mindof you every time     I t… Read More
I Will Not Allow Them...
2021-12-16 03:58
"I Will Not Allow Them..."I lie about my dreams,about what I actually see,What I tell youis not what is true,There are things about methat have deformed me underneath,Things that have broken… Read More
Flakes Of Snow
2021-12-15 02:54
"Flakes of Snow"Delicate white flakes of snowsilently fall outside the window,My mind slowly beginsto leave sleep behind,My eyes leisurely start to seethe morning lightpouring through the wi… Read More
What You Left Behind
2021-12-10 05:54
"What You Left Behind"There's a part of methat wants you to hurt,wants you to miss me,     for you to say sorryand begand pleadfor me to take you back     but f… Read More
Feed On Me
2021-12-08 04:59
"Feed on Me"I care for youtoo muchthatI wouldn't want youto ruin your lifefor me.I'm not what you think.I'm broken.I've done things to be ashamed of,     things to never be sp… Read More
This Time Of Year
2021-12-08 04:13
"This Time of Year"Amidst a crisp winter whiteslowly falling from the skythe soft crunch of snowbeneath my feetalways reminds methat time has gone by,This time of year always seemsto bring y… Read More
Drip.
2021-12-06 07:39
"drip."The sound of a delicate drippingswims through the silenceof this     motionless home.Nothing moves anymoreexcept the shadows,     drip.Outside the s… Read More
I Don't Even Remember You
2021-12-03 06:05
"I Don't Even Remember You"I find the firethis night     a deceptive comfort.The sting of the coldattempts to creep in     through my skinbut the warmth of the… Read More
2021-12-01 06:59
"I Love You"Lonely thoughts begin     to fill his headand he again     startsthinkingabout     the first time they met."Hi," she said with a brig… Read More
You Were The Lie
2021-11-30 01:55
"You Were The Lie"You were the lie     I allowed my heart     to believe.And Like an animal,     you brutally tore it to shreds.But like a human… Read More
Whatever You Are
2021-11-28 09:54
"Whatever You Are"  I'm scared  you're watching me now  there from the corner  with dead and unmoving eyes,  Just existing but not thinking… Read More
Malevolence V2.
2021-11-26 18:02
"Malevolence"  In the darkness that lingers   around us all   there exists something  that tempts us,  chooses us,  and crushes us… Read More
Ghostly Visage
2021-11-26 00:01
"Ghostly Visage"Silence hangs heavyin the room with meas the warm oranges of daypour through the window,Another night beginsto take shapeas the sun dipsbelow the horizon,A ghostly tour of me… Read More
When It Ends
2021-11-24 03:13
"When it Ends"I woke up again     thinking you were here,But nothing remainsbut these salty tears,This was the end for real,     never going to see you again in… Read More
Moonlight Shimmer
2021-11-23 07:38
"Moonlight Shimmer"I take a long steady breath     hopingI let fall from my eyesanother memory to its death,Closing my eyes     does not stopthis steady streamo… Read More
Somewhere Beyond
2021-08-10 00:46
"Somewhere beyond"Somewhere beneath these stars I stand a man looking back through the black that exists in between the pale specks of light spattered throughou… Read More
Empty Tears
2021-08-06 00:37
"empty tears"There in the dismal glow of the television screen he finds himself crying again not because it hurts But because it's there again. He sits silently insi… Read More
I Bore Witness
2021-07-30 21:03
"I bore witness"There on that throne of skin and boneI dared to look at that which I dared to see,I bore witness and from the darknessmoaned a voice "It has come to this,"And standing where… Read More
2021-07-30 20:51
"The Dead Night"There I sitin the quiet darkness of it allWondering how it came to this;Hearing the tiny chirps of the cricketsoutside the window seal      and the soft midnig… Read More
As He Forever Forgets V2
2021-07-28 22:20
"As He Forever Forgets"Gone are the days of happier timesas he slidesa freshly sharpened knifeup and downalong his veins,He knows every motion brings him closerto a placewhere everything fro… Read More
2021-07-25 01:35
"My Faintest Image"There you are in my faintest image,in the corner of my mind.There you are smiling back at meforever forgetting meand that lifewe were once supposed to have;nothing more no… Read More
The Early Morning Mist
2021-03-10 22:16
"The Early Morning Mist"In the early morning mistthat lingers around us while we sleeplies in waita beautiful sunrisealthough howevernot yet.First, the dull blues and graysdrip awayfrom nigh… Read More
Water And Salt
2021-01-12 23:45
"Water and Salt"The minutes of now begin to flake away leaving behind only the seconds of the past to look at,I feel it at the sides of my eyes,a pressure tryin… Read More
2020-09-21 01:31
"Forever Never Happens"There are norainbows or butterfliesin her beautiful lie,Onlythe long empty looksof her eyes,She sits drenchedinside lonely gloomdrippingthrough herapartment window,The… Read More
In The Corner
2020-08-14 18:22
"In The Corner"At the end of every day I am reminded you are not here anymore,Every time I see your side of the bed I feel this hole again,     a missing piece ripped from me… Read More
Cigarette Tip V2.
2020-07-29 22:10
"Cigarette Tip"Steam rises from his lipsas if a cigarette tip burnsamidst this winter breeze,Silky lines of gray rise     into the icy air          as… Read More
Only Nothing V2.
2020-07-28 21:01
"Only Nothing"I woke up to the warmth of sunbeaming on my face andAs the darkness of sleep slowlydissolved away from my eyesfor the early morning light,I unintentionally broke my necklacefro… Read More
2020-07-24 02:37
The ache of the dayhas slowly worn me downstripping awaymy strength,leaving just me to confess     my sins          to this bottle,One drink before&nb&hell…Read More
A Hint Of Winter V3
2020-07-19 19:51
"A Hint of Winter"A cold grey lingersat the edges     of everywhere I look,A hint of winter     hangs on the air     bringing with it  &nbsp&hell…Read More
Whiskey Burn
2020-07-18 19:46
"Whiskey Burn"The stillness of the nightsettles inaround me,From the corner     the candle softly flickersits flame     casting shadows     upon… Read More
Lost And Never Found... V2.
2020-07-18 08:02
"Lost and Never Found..."I searched for somethingto hold on to,Grabbing wildly and finding nothing,I searched for the separating linefrom where the day ends and the night begins,I searched f… Read More
The Kiss That Never Ends V2.
2020-07-18 07:01
"The Kiss That Never Ends"Even thoughI live most of the daywithout your kissI find myselfexistinginside the small moments     shared by our lips,Wanting nothing morebut to hav… Read More
2020-07-15 16:21
"The Healing Sea"It's a late day in June,     A cool wind glides          through               the swaying tr… Read More
2020-07-09 22:19
"A pointless speck"A dark sky hangs overheadpeppered throughout     with tiny bright specks,I tilt my head backaiming my eyestoward the infinite black above,All these points o… Read More

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