Being Sick makes you notice things that you didn’t before.

I can tell that my endo is going to flare, a night before it happens. I know when I have a fever without having to actually check my temperature. I can wake up, lay in bed, and tell you exactly how my day is going to go, just by how my body feels at that moment.

More importantly, though, I’ve been able to pick out who has been there for me the Entire time, who has my back versus who doesn’t.

Getting sick has caused me to lose a lot of friends. Some people have just straight up said goodbye and stopped contacting me completely when they realized I was getting worse, not better. Others text me once every few weeks, only because they need a favor, some advice, or money (as if I have any). Some pretend to be supportive, saying things like “I miss you!” or, “We should hang out soon, okay? Next week I don’t have anything to do. I’ll text you my days off and we can make plans!” And then when I text them ( because they haven’t texted me), something came up spur of the moment, or there were plans that they forgot that they already had, and they postpone to next week, which postpones to the next week, and the next.

Sometimes I am sad about it. Sometimes I get depressed, and I cry and get angry at myself because it’s my own fault that I’m lonely and I did this to myself. Then I realize that I didn’t ask to be sick, and that I am being too hard on myself.

The thing I’ve noticed the most is how loyal, loving and trustworthy my real friends truly are. They message me after every doctor’s appointment (if they weren’t there with me), talk to me like I am a normal person (not just a sick kid), and make time in their busy schedules to spend time with me. My friends and family make up the best support system in the entire world, I swear.

I have a new sense of gratefulness for life and the people around me, a new sense of self-love, and a new sense of forgiveness since I’ve been sick. That alone has made this experience worth it.