Every person interacts and communicates with each other in his or her unique way. The way they approach the situation is unique and is exclusive to that person. Sure, people can try to copy someone, they can look up to someone and hoping to be them someday and the role-models can be the same for many people, but hey, the thought process behind decoding the actions, the thought process in perceiving the actions of role-models, the rationalizations that they come up with WILL be different.
This is all well and good in theory, to become just like someone who you admire. But in doing so, in remolding yourself, you lose what makes you unique, and at the end, you are just another face in the crowd.
Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself,
Do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it. – Bruce Lee
Based on the situations and how people behave in such social situations, our society is roughly categorized into Extroverts and Introverts. Yes, I know some of you might believe that there is a third category, Ambiverts, but somehow that category doesn’t sit well with me. Ambiverts are said to possess the distinctive traits of both Extroverts and Introverts.
The terms Extroverts and Introverts were coined by someone, I can get some liberty for that too eh? Selective Intro/Extroverts are something (made up) that might describe most of the “Ambiverts”. A quick google search will give you numerous definitions for Ambiverts. To sum them up, Ambiverts act like extroverts in social situations and introverts when alone. Now, don’t all people, irrespective of whether they are an Extrovert or an Introvert, act like introverts when they are alone? You can’t be an extrovert when you are alone. If the person forces himself to not be alone when he is alone, then that is a symptom of a deeper problem. Any thoughts as to what it is?
Ambiverts are either Extroverts or Introverts based on the situation. If they are in a social situation, they feel the need to mingle, be an Extrovert for a night. And when they get fed up of the socialities, they act like Introverts.
For some reason, selective introvert and ambivert don’t strike me as the same thing.
As stated before, Ambiverts are Situation dependant. Whereas, Selective Intro/Extroverts would be dependant on the person. If their company is someone that they really like or have some significant feelings for, and not just know at work or just a mere acquaintance, they will act like an Extrovert. And when around acquaintances or people that they don’t have any significant feelings for, they will be Introverts. But their base does not change. But when in absence of the stimuli, the “Selectives” would default to their base state. The state to which they default to is who they really are.
A selective introvert would not be the same when held in regard to a small set of people. Rather, the extrovert nature of the introvert would surface when they are with that specific small set of people.
There is no competition between the two sects. It is just how people are, it is just how they behave. There is no right or wrong or black or white when it comes to this. It is only plain gray. Both exist because and for the other.
Balance is what is needed for all of us to survive. A society where everyone is a 100% extrovert, it would be a heartless and ruthless world wherein wars would ravage the entire planet. Yes, this is an extreme exaggeration. And the other evil, where everyone is a 100% introvert, then no one would ever express what they actually feel, there would be insane misunderstandings and the world would fall into chaos due to false assumptions.
There is no overall winner. Sure there will be certain advantages and/or disadvantages of being either an extrovert or an introvert in certain situations, but there is no superior mental state amongst the two. I’m not an Extrovert. I am more of an Introvert, yet some people that I like, some people that I regularly communicate with identify me as an Extrovert. Hence I came up with Selective Intro/Extrovertism.
And the same is the reason as to why, I can’t comment on the Advantages of being an Extrovert, or even what it means to be an Extrovert as a matter of fact. So I brought in some external help. Help in the form of one of my good friends. She will be explaining what it means to be an Extrovert; the good, the bad and the ugly of it. She is a proud and unwavering Extrovert.
Yeah, it’s pretty clear to people who know me that I am an Extrovert, and I am proud of it.
Hello everyone, I am Kanchan – The Extrovert friend of an Introvert (?).
To begin with, What exactly is an Extrovert? Someone who talks too much? With too many people? Perhaps sometimes percieved as Shameless? That’s what I have heard for the most of the time. What they really mean to say is, an extrovert is an outgoing person, sociable person, life and soul of the party, socializer, mixer, mingler, social butterfly, socialite, party animal and the adjectives don’t stop there.
Of the maximum people that I have known in my life, keep telling me that I talk too much and some even considered me as the elephant in the room..!! Interacting with everyone is my thing and believe me sometimes when I talk to people around me, often it is considered that I am giving out signals that I am “available” (If you know what I mean..!) Cons of being a female extrovert. Sigh.
I don’t want to straight away start with the cons so let’s just see how being an extrovert feels or looks like from my point of view. Believe it or not, you will never be uncomfortable with us..! Conversing well is like our thing you see. We are rarely shy and are comfortable with meeting new people, which are a few favorable traits for making friends, any other social engagement, etc etc..
I am a strong believer that extroverts speak their heart out. Never can they ever fall in short of words and neither are they afraid of expressing their feelings. People easily know what is going on in our mind. And at least in my case lying is a challenge- Which can be considered as a blessing and a curse. But then again once we master the art of lying, we can be great liars as well (Not kidding..!)
Imagine, You’re sitting alone, preferably staring outside the window, with a cup of hot coffee while it’s raining, and the climate is beautiful. If you can imagine this and be happy, then you’re not one of us, The extrovert trait is not dominant within you. When I said sitting alone it’s clear that it’s not me. It is clear that it’s not like us..!A person like me, a person in the deep end of extrovert nature, can never be at peace when I’m alone or when I have to sit quietly. I need someone to talk to irrespective of what my mood is. I need someone to talk to when I am jubilant and I need someone to talk to just as much when I am feeling low.
Yeah I know it sounds weird but that’s true. Possible not everyone can relate to it but it’s my thing.
Every coin has two sides and believe me, the other side ain’t good. I have faced various incidences where people complain that I talk way too much than needed. For some, it is irritating while others think I am trying to be over smart. It’s no surprise that introverts tend to hate us and very important that a lot of people take us for granted as we are always available when anyone needs us.
It is literally impossible for people like us to work or live independently. We need some company no matter what. We prefer working with a close team instead of being out on our own.Saying no is a big challenge for anyone. But in our case, it gets worst. Just imagine, a person who is always in your contact, always ready to chit chat, says no for some work of yours. It’s nearly impossible. Like hell difficult. In such cases we are stuck. “How on this earth am I suppose to say a NO..!” is a big question.
Extroverts can be seen as loud, arrogant and obnoxious – In my opinion, I would consider these qualities to show off my confidence, leadership and ability to inspire others to a greater level of success but again not everyone thinks the same.
Extroverts love conversations and unfortunately aren’t mind readers, so you need to fill them in on what’s going on upstairs. If you want us to understand a situation you need to talk a little at least.
Now talking about relationships, if both of them are introverts I really don’t know what happens there..! But even if one of them is an extrovert, things can be different. Their (Introverts) thoughts are most likely running a million miles a minute, but their silence can be confusing and frustrating for an extroverted partner. Extroverts draw energy from being around other people while introverts recharge with alone time. This can be a challenge at times.
But with all the hustle and bustle associated with an extrovert’s life, having an extrovert partner can be a roller coaster ride for an introvert…! And at the same time being with an introvert, the extroverts will constantly get a reality check, advice and a rock to lean on when things get tought and overwhelming.
I hope my thoughts and my opinion is something all readers could relate to. Thank you, Devil , ThinkOutlandish, for this opportunity.
Now that all the Introverts reading know what it is like to be an Extrovert and what you have to face, it’s time to put up our side of the story.
Please ignore the gender in the image.
Introverts are more analytical people, they ponder over the causes and consequences before acting on any problem/ situation. Introverts are generally shy and quiet people. They don’t try to mask their nature with words and partying. Rather they convey their innermost feelings with words ( blogs ) and deep conversations.
Introverts are always more involved in deep meaningful discussions/ conversations instead of random small talk and talking about things that don’t really matter. This is facilitated by the fact that they think a lot. Every thought that enters their mind, they immediately figure out the cause and impact of that happening. Whereas in most cases extroverts directly tackle the problem head on, without any, or hardly any prep.
When I was in school, the teachers used to say that I don’t express my thoughts. And they were right. I understand why would this be a point of concern for them. They would want their students to speak up about any issues or doubts that they might be facing. But at the same time, the constant nagging and the constant pressure is counterproductive to their cause. I hated public speaking back then, I was terrified of it, as is any Introvert. But now, I enjoy it, I embrace it. And, based on recent events, I’m pretty good at it.
We Introverts, We listen. We observe. We think and we analyze. This also is the cause for one serious drawback. Us Introverts are highly susceptible to overthinking. So for that, if any new people, or any new Introverts who are reading this, or any new readers in general, don’t worry, I’ve got something for that: Conquering your Overthinking Mind
People who know me, people who I have helped in the past, people who are good friends with me, they know what I am. They know I’m a good listener and frequently give good pieces of advice when asked for it. I am not bragging about my prowess. This is just a major plus point of Introverts. Being an introvert, we know how to listen and make the other person feel safe when they open up, guide them to pour out their suppressed emotions. Sure, as stated before, Extroverts might be better equipped to keep the conversation going, but the emotional and intellectual depth of the conversation might not be on the same level as introverts.
I’ve seen several extroverts who talk too much, to random strangers, telling maybe made up stories to maintain their facade of extroverted awesomeness. Seeing that, I could not help but wonder, this person hiding a lot of darker issues. I could say that because I knew that person and it was pretty clear that the stories weren’t the complete truth.
Contrary to popular opinion, us Introverts don’t tend to HATE the Extroverts, we just prefer our company to be somewhat similar to us. Introverts are generally less susceptible to panic attacks and feeling of helplessness. Extroverts are generally used to getting what they want, they are not used to hearing the word NO. Hence when something doesn’t go their way, they tend to freak out.
Let look at some personality combinations, shall we.
Introverted yet highly judgemental might possibly one of the worst personality combinations one can have. Worst in the sense that they’ll suffer non-productive solitude and be social outcasts. Outcasts not by the community, but by themselves.
Sensitive Extroverts would be bound to get hurt quite often as they would come on strong, just like extroverts do, and when they get shot down, on multiple occasions, they will be discouraged, hurt and lose their self-esteem. And eventually, they’ll become depressed, and either try too hard or morph into introverts, and not the analytical kind, but the ones coming off as shy and anti-social.
And as I said before, There is no overall winner. Sure, there will be certain situations, wherein being an Extrovert or an Introvert might be better than the alternative, but there is no superior mental state between the two.
PS: In conclusion, just 2 words. No Offence
