This will be a long read, but I hope it’s worth your time. Enjoy.
What is an everlasting Relationship? To quote the words of Billie Joe Armstrong with a little amendment suitable for this case
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right, It is best the time of your lives.
In this Special Edition of The Origin Story, We’ll look at some of the key aspects of any relationship that decides it’s fate, but it is not always set in stone. If the individuals are dedicated enough, are willing to let go of their egos and willing to work on their relationship, then there might be some hope, some way to reverse the catastrophe.
Let’s start with the 3 C’s of any relationship:
- The most important aspect, widely recognized and the lack of which causes most of the relationships to end: Compromise. Learn to let something go.
Relationships work on give and take. In order to advance as a couple, both of you will have to do the grunt work. One gets everything, and the other gets nothing, this does not work. The relationship will crash and burn, for sure.- However, there’s a 2 point loophole in this: 1. If one does not ask for anything much, and/or 2. Both of them want the same thing, but one of them is an introvert, what then? The introvert will never say what he wants out loud, and yet he’ll get what he wants. because what he wants is the same thing that other person wants. WIN – WIN.
- You have to be willing to give up something in order to make the other person happy, and your partner does the same.
And the toughest part in this is to swallow your pride and do the right thing without the expectation of getting a similar reaction in a similar situation from the Partner. Your other half will realize the same thing sooner or later and will reciprocate. And when this happens, your efforts all along the way will be completely worth it. And trust me, this won’t be a one-time thing, when either of you will see how happy you’ve made the other, you will want that happiness to last. Whatever it takes.
- Second most important thing: Change. Don’t fear the change. Things get to the way they currently are through change. Not all change is bad; These are few of the generic things that we hear all around us with respect to dealing with change. But is this really what we want to hear? I am a strong supporter of the fact that people don’t change. They just adapt to the surroundings to them.
- In a relationship don’t force change on someone. You don’t have the right to change someone just because it will make your life easier. You don’t get to play god in a relationship. If you want someone to change something about themselves, just talk to them. Explain what makes you want to change that. All you can do is explain your point of view and if the person agrees, I can assure you that he/she will try his/her best to give you what you want because he/she now believes what he/she is doing to be the right thing.
- And at the end of the day, the only thing that will give you true inner peace is the fact that I DID THE RIGHT THING; be it what the other person wants, or doesn’t want.
- Relationships aren’t perfect. People are bound to collide. They have the right to have their own opinion. Don’t shy away from Confrontation. Bottled up feelings will find a way to get out, either killing you while you live from the inside, or exploding like an active volcano at an unexpected and unwanted time. More on this, refer to my Healing Wounds.
- If you disagree with your partner, talk to him/her, let them know exactly what you’re feeling, no one can read minds. Even if it gets ugly, its something that you have to do to ensure a future with bright and sunny skies. Having multiple little fights every now and then is healthier than having one nuclear detonation of a fight wherein all the skeletons come out of the closet.
- And hey, after you’ve been through that fight as a couple, you will come out the other side, closer and stronger than ever. Fights are not the end of the world. Work together and both of you shall be fine.
- Why do people come together? They find each other interesting. The other person has Something that makes their heart skip a beat. And what happens when you have been together for quite while? You can truly be with each other, open up your soul, bare and naked, without any shields and walls. You learn to depend on one another, when things get hard, you know you can count on your partner to stick by your side. You know you can Trust them with your life.
- Trust is the representative symbol of everything. Trust is the thing which supersedes love itself. Love can fade. It shouldn’t, but it does happen. And you can fall in love with the same person again and again, contrary to the popular misconception. However, trust is everlasting, unless some act causes that to shatter. If that act does ever take place, then that’s a definitive proof that there was not enough love, respect, and affection to begin with. And that trust is extremely hard to regain.
Even if you do manage that, it will never be as good as the pure gold that you threw away for a piece of polished copper. - Trust has to be earned. Trust is the key to everything. Any doubts that you have about your partner are little chinks in your relationship armor. And shit will seep through those chinks.
- Trust is the representative symbol of everything. Trust is the thing which supersedes love itself. Love can fade. It shouldn’t, but it does happen. And you can fall in love with the same person again and again, contrary to the popular misconception. However, trust is everlasting, unless some act causes that to shatter. If that act does ever take place, then that’s a definitive proof that there was not enough love, respect, and affection to begin with. And that trust is extremely hard to regain.
- Like everything in this multiverse, all couples go through their own highs and lows. Every couple has their own version of 12 labors of Hercules. Hardships make the journey tough. We travel through all kinds of troubled waters. We are made to travel through troubled waters because our enemies cannot follow us through. In doing so, in surviving the barren and the dangerous, we equip ourselves with the tools needed to last forever.
- Going through hard times together and sticking together, shapes the relationship. Tougher the hardship, stronger is the couple.
Is there any guarantee that a relationship will work? No. People who are exactly aligned, similar tastes, similar personalities and similar interests can fall out of love and People who are complete opposites like ocean and desert can last forever. If you both put equal effort into making it into something worth having, then it has the maximum chance of surviving the 21st Century Breakdown.
I believe, we typically find partners who are different from us. It’s not fate or luck or clichés like, “the heart wants what the heart wants”. We choose them because they have the qualities we wish we had. They act the way we wish we did. They are the embodiment of what we yearn in ourselves. In doing so, by choosing such a challenging partner and working to give them what they need, we make ourselves a better person, We grow, We flourish. Together.
If you like this, leave a comment down below giving your take on relationships. I know there’s a lot more to relationships, but including everything in one single post would be tiresome for you guys. There will be another post on relationships soon. Like and share this with everyone that you think might benefit from this. Glad I could help in any way if I did.
