Merriam Webster defines “karma” as, “the sum of a person’s actions in this and previous states of existence, viewed as deciding their fate in future existences”. Now, I don’t practice Buddhism or Hinduism, but lately, I have found myself Analyzing my self-worth. If the world doesn’t owe you anything, and the Individual is so small compared to the order of the cosmos, is it possible that we as individuals set too high of expectations for ourselves, only to be fooled by life’s harsh success qualifications?
Approximately 1.4 million years ago, “mankind” as we know it only had two concepts on the brain. Survival and reproduction. Fast forward to the present time where we’re concerned with the latest celebrity affair, anticipating the newest release of the iPhone, and hung up on philandering politicians. We no longer celebrate the basics of being alive. We as a species take the act of existing for granted, and yet we are expected to thrive in the life we have been given! Whether it be the pressure of parental hopes, community gossip, or an internal need for validation, we all hold our thoughts, actions, desires, and goals to a certain standard.
As the anxiety-ridden wreck that I am, I constantly question if I push myself enough or too much? I question, where do I want to be in five years? Which career is “right” for me? Did I choose the right major? And these are only the basic inquiries! I find myself wanting more from not only me but everyone else in my life. I expect too much from those who are willing to give too little. I refuse to accept mediocrity and find myself often disappointed and rarely satisfied. Recently realizing this, I knew I needed an adjustment to my personal perspective.
A study I recently read published by, “The Scientific American”, estimated that there are over 700-quintillion planets in the universe. So far, Earth is the only one to knowingly support life. To make matters more unfathomable, there are 100 trillion synapses in a single human brain. Knowing this, the trivial questions begin to fade back into the anxiety whirlpool where they belong. Now having the mental clarity to step away from the civil war that erupts within me from time to time, I begin to focus on the outside pressures and opinions I mentioned previously.
Apparently, someone out there went as far as to calculate the average amount of decisions made by an individual in their lifetime, which happens to be approximately 773,618 decisions. That is 35,000 decisions daily, and to think we have the power to choose the outcome of every single one is astounding. With so many choices, it is no wonder we all make a mistake or two now and again. Just as we all have the choice to be who we would like, others have the ability to judge those said choices. I find comfort in knowing that we all make mistakes. We are all just anxiety ridden blobs of matter defying the concept of life itself. Moral of this unorganized rant, don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ll find your way, and if you find yourself in limbo, questioning your next move, take my advice and go with your gut. Do not live a hesitant life of questioning, for you will only regret every decision you make. Instead, lead with your heart, verify with your mind and when others question the validity of your life choices, just know that they don’t have to live with the result of your decisions. Sometime’s all you need is a simple “fuck-it” mentality and a cup of coffee. The Earth is going to continue to rotate on its axis with or without you, so why not enjoy the ride?
Sincerely,
Your favorite millennial asshole
