Put me in front of you in person and I’ll gladly lecture you on your own male privilege, the importance of using someone’s preferred personal pronouns or why, no honestly listen, we still don’t have racial equality in this country. These are just a few examples of recent debates I’ve had down the pub. Have I put any of that stuff online? Not a chance in hell. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to, the notes section of my phone is full to the brim with work, but something has been stopping me. That thing, which I can feel pulsing in my chest right now as I write this is, is Fear. 

I stopped speaking out for the fear of being wrong. For the fear of being the minority viewpoint, for fear of the group backlash that is so quick and unforgiving in it’s judgement. You’re either right or you’re wrong. There are no grey areas. There’s no healthy discussion to educate both sides. There’s something about ‘not staying in your lane’ that really riles up a lot of people, especially those with union jack flags as profile pictures. One foot wrong and you’re done. Not like Woody Allen done, where you’ll always be given a second chance because you’re a ‘creative genius’ but Lena Dunham done, where people are happy to have finally caught you out and kicked you off your podium. Just like back in the 1500s, people love a good public takedown. 

Since I started working in the startup space a few years ago, I’ve quickly absorbed the fact that discussion and debate are the way you get shit done. No-one is as respected as their last idea, and you have to throw your expectations to the side in order for innovation to happen. It’s the only way to grow. However, the cultural patterns and behaviours we have formed for the online experience are far more extreme than we would find in reality. When else would you have to sum up your position in 140 characters or less? In our hurry to try and get to the point, many people miss the point entirely. 

There are some glimmers of hope. Case and point is the notorious and meteoric rise to stardom of Diet Prada, the fashion insiders calling bullshit on design copycats and shady behaviour that has, until now, been the industry standard. People are listening and talking, and only a few are trying to personally attack the Diet Prada duo for their well researched opinions. More importantly, is the matter of online activism and campaigns such as #Repealthe8th which have helped to form many people’s opinion and actually change legislation. But, here's the question, when will an individual’s opinion and experience have the same acceptance and curiosity as a movement? When that happens, movements will start daily as it will be less terrifying to take that first step through the door. 

The fear of being wrong has not subsided, but there is a stronger feeling, the fear of being complicit. Not wanting to just muddle along in the mediocrity and post photos of my brunch with a motivational caption next to it. Just because you’re posting online doesn’t mean you are really saying something. As an educated white woman, my silence doesn't help anyone. What is does do it breed consent to the things I don’t call out. As a teenager I was constantly called out for always having to ‘have the last word’, now I hope someone accuses me of that again.