“No two Snowflakes are identical, y’know?” people used to say, back in the 1980’s.

This fact was a thing of wonder. I was a child, and this was our moon landing. It topped the list of mind-blowingly-amazing things, above even microwave ovens and the ability to write BOOBS with a calculator.

I imagined there was a white coated scientist whose job it was to check. To monitor global snowflake structure and verify the fact. A big red button in the lab to sound the alarm should two identical flakes be spotted.

But weather needs to up its game.

Right here in late-2018 we’re overrun with amazing. We’ve got virtual-reality, nano-technology, and George Foreman grills. Non-identical snowflakes have been bumped right down the list.

Maybe as low as number seven, or eight.

Behind graphene, self-driving vehicles, frozen yoghurt, and who knows what else.

Maybe it’s time to bring this thing full circle. For those of us steeped in the legend of non-identical snowflakes, you know what would really blow our minds?

Genetically modified, lab-tested, 100% identical snowflakes.

Falling from our skies to order.

Like Calculator Boobs for millennials.