Amber Rudd, as Home Secretaries go, was never my cup of tea.

In fact, as politicians go, Home Secretaries are generally not for me. The way they have to wield horrible authority is quite off-putting. Especially when they look like they’re enjoying it.

Give me a Housing Minsister or a Culture Secretary any day.

Not literally, mind.

I’m not asking you to give me a high-ranking British politician, kidnapped and delivered. I really must be very clear on that.

It’s a figure of speech.

The fact that Rudd was the figurehead of a policy designed to create a “hostile environment” was always going to prevent me warming to her. That was the Rudd-ian approach to immigration which, tied up with the whole Windrush scandal, saw her out of a job.

I’m with Jonathan Pie when it comes to the concept of a hostile environment (very sweary…beware!).

At the risk of being trivial there was, however, one aspect of Amber Rudd’s time in the national spotlight which I found reassuring: her name. The soft and sensuous Amber, followed by that concrete hard, monosyllabic Rudd.

In my late teens I, like many others my age, held music as by far the most important force in my life. My favourite bands were my anchors in a swirling sea of hormonally driven urges.

And many bands in those days clearly understood the power of a union between soft and sensuous and concrete hard. We had Guns’n’Roses, The Stone Roses, The Smashing Pumpkins, Mudhoney.

All, whatever you think of the music, fundamentally memorable in name.

It’s a simple formula: you want to be remembered as a band? Stick a hard word and a soft word together.

Et Voila!

Whatever the trajectory of Amber Rudd’s future career, and however much of a hostile environment she finds the job market to be, I, for one, will never forget her.

Because of that name.

Of course, if Rudd really wants to remain relevant and memorable in the minds of the nation she should form a band. I see her very much as the front-woman backed by a quintet of talented yet forgettable session musicians.

The band would name itself, of course.

Are you seriously telling me you wouldn’t stream the debut single by Amber Rudd and the Hostile Environment?

(Image: pixabay.com)