Hi, this is me. You see me as your Mom, sister, lover and a friend.
I love my parents. I have a brother. We are twins. My parents love us equally. We were sent to the same school. I was a tomboy then. Everything seemed all right for a while.
My teens
Physical changes did not seem too much to me but change around me made me feel that not only do they matter but they dictate my life! I was no more allowed to play with all of my friends. My mom told me to stay away from boys. In school, we were taught a class on menstrual cycle and sanitary napkins, WE here don't include boys though. I could see my mom worrying about my brown skin, she was extra cautious about my beauty. My dad was then busy planning to join me in a reputed 'girls college'-to take AIIMS coaching. They wanted me to become a doctor, but I somehow got into an arts college.
A mockery
When I was in final year of my graduation, they said, they found me extremely beautiful and proposed a marriage with their only son. An engineer. My parents were worried about my studies but they could convince my dad for my marriage and my mom had no say. At our first meeting, my better half called me his princess, he adored my beauty. I felt happy because I never knew that it was the only thing mattered to him! He said that I was born for him. He wanted me to wear a saree or a kurthi. He boasted on giving me a choice, he felt, he was modern, but I felt it to be human. His family instructed me not to wear a kurthi without a dupatta. They were worried about OUR family pride. I wondered if the ownership (on me) shifted hands. The moment my phone rang, I could see someone observing me, I never understood, if it was out of suspicion or a mere curiosity. Whatever it is, my privacy was at stake. My husband didn't let me complete my graduation. I didn't know if he didn't consider it as a degree or he never considered my career as worthy.
He planned on when to conceive and I was pregnant. We got a cute little girl. I was happy and thankful to God. Relatives flocked OUR house. They congratulated my husband and called OUR baby as HIS baby. I felt, our understanding of science has something to do with it. We are taught that many active sperms compete to enter a passive ovum and the lucky one gets in. We miss the point that the lucky one here is the one that is allowed by the ovum.They said the baby will look beautiful like me when she grows up. It felt like a mockery on my human hood before womanhood.
Questions
I have many questions to my parents, my husband, his family and our society.
Why should a girl's conduct be shaped by her mom?
Why should dad take all the responsibility of girl's career? Why shouldn't my mom's voice be heard?Why should life be very different for my brother and me? Why shouldn't I have a choice?
Why should bindi, dupatta, mangal sutra matter too much for me when my husband has nothing to uphold OUR family pride? Why should I be the sole victim of 'culture and family pride'?
If my husband has friends he is social, why should I be called characterless when I have friends?
Why should a boy be a lover or a brother to a girl? Can't they be friends?
Why should beauty be my sole asset? Why don't you recognize that I am a human before being a woman?
Why shouldn't I be a breadwinner in the family than a mere 'bread maker'?
Why should I be identified with someone always? Don't I have an identity?
As I keep asking, this list goes on and on. I know, it takes time for some of you to hear my voice, some might have already heard it (thanks to you). I want you to act upon it.
Try to answer, provide a solution to many such questions lingering in the mind of SHE. I know that 'SHE' doesn't need you to answer, but she needs you, not to silence her. If you refuse to do that too, SHE will fight back for sure but it takes time for her to win.
Enough is said about her ability to bear with things. why shouldn't we reduce her burden? Shouldn't we be making this a better place to live for her?
Think of it.
Bye.
I love my parents. I have a brother. We are twins. My parents love us equally. We were sent to the same school. I was a tomboy then. Everything seemed all right for a while.
My teens
Physical changes did not seem too much to me but change around me made me feel that not only do they matter but they dictate my life! I was no more allowed to play with all of my friends. My mom told me to stay away from boys. In school, we were taught a class on menstrual cycle and sanitary napkins, WE here don't include boys though. I could see my mom worrying about my brown skin, she was extra cautious about my beauty. My dad was then busy planning to join me in a reputed 'girls college'-to take AIIMS coaching. They wanted me to become a doctor, but I somehow got into an arts college.
A mockery
When I was in final year of my graduation, they said, they found me extremely beautiful and proposed a marriage with their only son. An engineer. My parents were worried about my studies but they could convince my dad for my marriage and my mom had no say. At our first meeting, my better half called me his princess, he adored my beauty. I felt happy because I never knew that it was the only thing mattered to him! He said that I was born for him. He wanted me to wear a saree or a kurthi. He boasted on giving me a choice, he felt, he was modern, but I felt it to be human. His family instructed me not to wear a kurthi without a dupatta. They were worried about OUR family pride. I wondered if the ownership (on me) shifted hands. The moment my phone rang, I could see someone observing me, I never understood, if it was out of suspicion or a mere curiosity. Whatever it is, my privacy was at stake. My husband didn't let me complete my graduation. I didn't know if he didn't consider it as a degree or he never considered my career as worthy.
He planned on when to conceive and I was pregnant. We got a cute little girl. I was happy and thankful to God. Relatives flocked OUR house. They congratulated my husband and called OUR baby as HIS baby. I felt, our understanding of science has something to do with it. We are taught that many active sperms compete to enter a passive ovum and the lucky one gets in. We miss the point that the lucky one here is the one that is allowed by the ovum.They said the baby will look beautiful like me when she grows up. It felt like a mockery on my human hood before womanhood.
Questions
I have many questions to my parents, my husband, his family and our society.
Why should a girl's conduct be shaped by her mom?
Why should dad take all the responsibility of girl's career? Why shouldn't my mom's voice be heard?Why should life be very different for my brother and me? Why shouldn't I have a choice?
Why should bindi, dupatta, mangal sutra matter too much for me when my husband has nothing to uphold OUR family pride? Why should I be the sole victim of 'culture and family pride'?
If my husband has friends he is social, why should I be called characterless when I have friends?
Why should a boy be a lover or a brother to a girl? Can't they be friends?
Why should beauty be my sole asset? Why don't you recognize that I am a human before being a woman?
Why shouldn't I be a breadwinner in the family than a mere 'bread maker'?
Why should I be identified with someone always? Don't I have an identity?
As I keep asking, this list goes on and on. I know, it takes time for some of you to hear my voice, some might have already heard it (thanks to you). I want you to act upon it.
Try to answer, provide a solution to many such questions lingering in the mind of SHE. I know that 'SHE' doesn't need you to answer, but she needs you, not to silence her. If you refuse to do that too, SHE will fight back for sure but it takes time for her to win.
Enough is said about her ability to bear with things. why shouldn't we reduce her burden? Shouldn't we be making this a better place to live for her?
Think of it.
Bye.
