It is never easy to end a Relationship. Losing someone in any shape or form is difficult. Sometimes, you must reevaluate the relationships in your life to see them for what they are.

Fear and anxiety get in the way, and they are often why we spare another person’s feelings. There is a well-known saying, one that’s cliché, but one that must be a constant reminder: relationships are two-way streets. If only one is putting forth the effort, then what is the sense in maintaining the relationship? As harsh as it may sound, you must keep in mind that life is not always sugary sweet. The truth hurts. However, once that truth is accepted, it is freeing.

Questions may arise: How do I know if this relationship is truly one-sided? What if I am overreacting? What if I’m not seeing the full picture? What if I’m expecting too much? Again, how do I know?

The All-Consuming Person

This is the person who rushes to the microphone, the one who has sole control of focus. The one who craves the attention. They either flat out just don’t listen or they catch every other word to look like they are paying attention, so that their turn speeds up quicker. They are dying to get their words out on the table, even if the story has been repeated numerous times before. Their story is the story of all stories, which often leaves you wondering if the need to one-up is something done on purpose or if they cannot contain themselves. This is the person who has it best, and at the same time, nobody has it worse.

This is also the person who picks up their cellphone to attend to a text message from their significant other who they heard from seventeen Seconds Ago or to attend to some pointless game that can be attended to at home when they are bored or have a hard time sleeping, or they check whatever social media account they may have missed out on twenty seconds ago all while you are talking. Or maybe this person does this? Do they blatantly watch the scenery from over your shoulder or do their eyes roam everywhere else, but they never once land on you? This is all habitual, something you expect. But, you must ask yourself this: Is this something I should expect?

This person is smart. Putting together your first three, four or maybe five sentences, and then come back whenever they decide, which is what they believe to be the end, is enough information gathered to throw out their experience without an explanation as to why it pertains to your situation. There is no advice given, no words of wisdom. It is your turn to listen with ears wide open and eyes on them. You are the one who displays concern. Your goal is to make sure their head is at least somewhat clearer than it was before. You’re the one putting their feelings first. You’re the one who cares.

How often do they do the same?

Distancing Yourself is Imperative to your Well-Being

In any relationship, if one person dictates and we allow them to, we will eventually lose ourselves. Relationships do no subtract, they add. We flourish because of them. We want to help our friends as much as we want to have a grand ol’ time with them. We are partners as much as we are support systems, but they do not always go hand in hand. It may take some time to realize you are the only one working in this relationship. And when the reality of it hits, it may be crushing.

These one-sided relationships produce confusion that will eventually turn into a tug-of-war with yourself, which then will eventually leave you to be weighed down and underestimated. You must not allow this to happen. Sometimes, you have to put yourself first. This is not considered selfish, it is considered doing what is best for you. This person has lowered your self-confidence. They have made you their follower. In the end, they are hurting you.

Once you step away—and this means stepping away for good—it is guaranteed that your vision will be clearer. You will see the ones who have always cared and you will meet others who will acknowledge your worth, and they will show it. You will understand not only how fabulous of a friend you are, but how fabulous of a person you have always been.

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