Crying, while eating?

When does 30 seconds feel like an eternity? When you're watching somebody writhe and moan in faux histrionics while consuming tasty snacks.

I'm not sure about the motivation behind this site, "Crying, While Eating," although I do give it extra points for correct punctuation. It's a collection of 30-second QuickTime clips showing people mourning banal, minute or irrelevant problems (lost opportunity, "the somber moments after dawn," etc.)

I guess there's something provocative, quirky or dissonant about people who can assemble and consume actual food.

Whatever: here are my nominations for the CWE (rhymes with "twee") Awards:

1. Most sincere distress: Ted, eating Honey Nut Cheerios. Ted knows you can't chew and cry at the same time. His silent paralysis is heartbreaking ... almost.

2. Most revolting abuse of an eclair:What could that harmless little French pastry have done to receive such abuse from Afshin, supposedly mourning the absence of positive news stories? Obviously a Fox News devotee.

3. Most artisitic merit: Giacomo, absently consuming a tuna sandwich before recalling he doesn't really like fish. Shot like a classic foreign film, possibly more Bergman than Fellini or Godard.

4. Most compelling argument for no-fault divorce: Hannah and Paul, bewailing the gulf between them. Or, maybe they're just grieving the really hideous cafe curtain behind them. Doesn't matter. Just go get the lawyers and put this relationship out of its misery.