I'll be honest, gals, I've been chokin' up all day knowing that Charlton Heston was laid to rest today.
Like I said to Dee this morning when I was ferrying her kids to cheerleading class, we've lost one of the greatest actors of our lifetime. A square-jawed, right-thinkin, liberal-hating hero, up there with the likes of John Wayne, Cary Grant, Humphrey Bogard, Tom Cruise, Woody Harrelson, Ronnie Reagan - the giants of the big screen. And a man of stature and dignity too. Think how he played Ben-Hur. Or Moses in 'The Ten Commandments'. John the Baptist in "The Greatest Story Ever Told". Planet of the Apes. Just awesome.
Course, it wasn't just the movies. Why I loved Charlton was because he was a true American patriot who loved his country, especially the white bits. He wasn't scared of taking on the political correctedness brigade and fighting for decent, law-abiding middle class folks like us. And when he was running the National Rifle Association, he didn't take no crap from the liberals who wanna ban handguns and have us all cowtowing to burglarizers and rapists and peditricians and drug-pedallers when they walk into our homes and try to steal our TVs and molest our kids and inject crack-cocaine and have carnal relationships with people they don't hardly even know. No, he knew exactly what the US Constitutional says about the right to bare arms - and it don't say nothing about givin all the AK-47s to the bad guys, I can tell ya.
Remember how he saw off that loud-mouthed liar Michael Moore in that 'Bowling in Columbine' movie? Michael Moron, my Bob calls him - there weren't no bowling in that movie so far as I've been told. And what was it Charlton used to tell the anti-gun liberals at the annual NRA get-together, when he'd pick up that old-fashioned rifle and wave it in the air? That famous slogan, what was it - "I'll give you my gun when you take it from my cold, dead hands"? Well, Charlton, bless ya, your hands are cold now and you're dead as my poor deceased granma and our cat Fluffy, but I bet while you're up there meeting your Maker you're still waving that gun round your head just like you always did. Let's just hope you kept the safety catch on, tho, cos I know you was getting a bit forgetful at the end there.
You know how they say everyone remembers where they were when JFK got shot? Well, I feel the same way about Charlton. As long as I live, I'll never forget hearing the news on the car radio that he'd passed away, just as I was pulling off the freeway into Walmarts to stock up on chocolate chip cookies and toilet paper. The cookies were buy two, get one free, so I did. That was my tribute to him.
