- I consider myself to be quite the expert at folding, refolding, unfolding, misfolding, crumpling up, ripping apart, and shredding into bitesize morsels any map known to man. Actually I use maps on my job so I have an unnatural ability to fold them back properly.
- I have never skitched on the back of a car. Now if you asked about the front........
- Years ago I used to save up all the Pennies from change. I would go through them every so often searching for the oldest pennies. You know, the ones that have that greenish-brown sticky adhesive coating that you have to scrub off with battery acid and steel wool. I figured anything before about 1940 surely had to be worth something. I come to find out that even mint condition 1900 pennies only draw a few dollars. So I figure I will just save them for a couple hundred years and I'll be set then. I ain't no dummy planning ahead like that.
- It has never happened to me but I have dialed 411 by accident and in a panic I gave the operator a Completely fictitious company name and town. Little did I know that she was a compulsive perfectionist and found myself spending an hour that evening trying to get off the phone while she raced through every suburb looking for a non-existent corporation. This was 11 years ago and I still get updates from her now and then. I wasn't even aware that Tibet had a P.O.
- St. Joseph aspirin was what every 5 year old needed for "a fix". I mean how could you not enjoy that sweet powdery orange-like bit of magical elixir in pill form? There are still 12 year olds everywhere, too old to partake of this wonder drug and doomed to sample adult aspirins like Bufferin and Anacin, who have to go to S.JAA meetings from withdrawal.
- Back in the 80's we would tempt fate with the world of the occult and contact several spirits. Sadly, I had to dispose of many of those people who would work the Ouija board with me. What could I say, it was asked of me. But to this day I never understood the purpose of all those ladders and slides on the board....
- Yeah I have to admit I get excited seeing those whole numbers with multiple zeros pop up. Heck, the vehicle I drive now is pretty close to hitting 200 thousand miles. I gotta think that that's pretty darn good for a Schwinn.
- Nope, that's just a little too gross. But I can say the Alphabet backwards. Seriously! And you should see what I can do with the alphabet when there's snow.
- Actually I did get this one call where the person on the other end asked for someone who had a name the same as one of my friends. Then they mentioned another name and again they had the same as another friend. This continued for a few more names. Finally I had to tell the Officer NO, I did not know the guys who I hang out with that trashed my neighbor's car and burned most of his garage down. I'll be damned if I am going to rat anyone out!
- Yes, I have Locked them in the car while it was running. But it only took me 15 minutes to get myself out. And I can't even count the times I locked them in there when it wasn't running.
- A moving violation? OH YEAH! An officer tried to bust me for making an illegal U-Turn, but the sign said it was an illegal left turn.After we discussed it a few minutes he let me off with a "warning". We even kind of kidded around just before he went to leave and I said to him, "Man, you had me nervous, I thought you saw something leaking out of my trunk. Boy, suddenly he got all "Mr.Serious-like". Sheesh, some people.....
- Yep, there are several....... Officer and A Gentleman, Chariots Of Fire, Maltese Falcon, Ernest Saves Christmas, Gigli. All the greats..
- I would have to say NO in all 3 cases. But the time I was in the backseat of an "unmarked squad"I was doing the 'ol goalpost shuffle with both hands!
- I did get caught in Biology class in my senior year of High School. And I actually got busted helping someone out on the test. Maybe I shouldn't have let him sit in my lap; that did seem suspicious. I mean the teacher had had to have his own chair.
- I have never walked in on someone accidentally, it's always been completely on purposely. It would be way to embarrassing the other way!
