Clearly, Amy has some serious body issues.

This morning I read that the comedian Amy Schumer is accusing "Alt-Right trolls" for orchestrating a campaign of scathingly negative reviews of her recently released one-hour diatribe on Netflix called "The Leather Special." She swears it's a conspiracy against her by those hateful prudes in the Republican Party. After all, they do all the bad stuff, right?

So naturally, already disliking her and hating her cousin Chuck (Schumer), and having access to a Netflix account and loving to write bad reviews, which, admit it, are much more fun to read than good ones, I plopped down in front of the TV with my lunch to check it out. And I'm here to say it is appalling, and you should definitely see it, if only to wallow in the fact that Ms. Schumer is a superstar among today's dreadfully misdirected youth, earning more money thus far than any of us will likely see in our lifetimes, and she's only 35.

First of all, let's make one thing clear: Despite her claim that she wears a size 6 and likes to pose nude for magazines and the Internet, Amy Schumer is a fatty. Clearly she has some body issues and also may be slightly deranged. Next, her entire act is about having sex, specifically men having sex with her, and especially with her pussy, which everyone seems to find hilarious based on the audience reaction shots we see whenever she says the word.

This got me wondering about all those women wearing pink kitty hats at that monumental Women's March who were so offended by Donald Trump saying it one time vs. the obvious approval of Amy's virtual non-stop utterance of the word. In this show, Amy says "pussy" or "my pussy" about a hundred times in fifteen minutes. She talks about waking up drunk to find a strange man licking it, and how she washes it really well when she knows it will be getting licked later that day, and how  even on a good day it smells really bad, "like a small farm animal," making me think she should schedule a gynecological appointment ASAP.

Finally she leaves her pussy behind and moves on to men and their penises and how they ejaculate all over her, especially on her "titties." This is pretty much her entire act, or at least as much as I could stomach, and it's not funny. (Not even a little.) All the while she is dressed in spike heels and a skin-tight, black leather sleeveless jumpsuit that shows every nook and cranny of her horrible fireplug body, with its protruding stomach and flabby breasts, atop which sits her little baby pig face.

I doubt any member of the so-called Alt-Right made it past the first fifteen minutes. I know I couldn't. What I hope more than anything is that Amy's mother is already dead, because if she isn't and she sees this show, it will surely kill her.