• Please Disregard My Earlier Request to Be Taken Down to Atlantic City and Please Never Never Take Me There

• Roll of Thunder Road, Hear Me Cry “BRUUUUUUUUUUCE!” at Giants Stadium If I am Granted Tickets This Summer

• Holy Mother Can You Cool the Desire and Hungry Heart That Afflict Every Son and Daughter of a Factory Worker in This Crummy Shore Town

• Canticle to Make My Arms Swole and Rippling Underneath a Denim Vest

• Our Lady of My Hometown, Myyyyyy Hooome Toooown, Holy Mother of Yer Home Town, Yerrrrr Home Town

• Vespers for When I Stand Stone-Like at Midnight, Realizing I am Never Actually Getting Out of New Jersey

• Adoration of the Shroud of Stevie van Zandt’s Bandanas

• Wonder and Awe at Bruce Being the Least-Racist Half-Italian Half-Irish Boy to Come from Freehold, NJ

• Petition for My Cover of a Tom Waits Song to Get More Radio Play Than the Original, at Least in New Jersey

• Contrition for Every Studio Album Released After 1995, Especially But Not Limited to Devils & Dust

****St. Clarence Clemons was canonized in 2012. Can confirm – he is DEFINITELY in heaven. He rarely intercedes for the living, however, for he is rocking too damn hard on his solid gold sax to hear the prayers of tramps like us.

The post 10 Prayers for the Intercession of Our Living Saint Bruce Springsteen That Every New Jersey Resident Should Know appeared first on Robot Butt.