Major Changes for the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics

The 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics are experiencing a departure from past traditions, events, and rules.  Many critics and observers are speculating that these changes are being imposed by Soviet-era-strong-arming.

As the casual Olympic observer has found it very challenging to track all of the updates and changes taking place, Shamatae's World Omnibus of the Weird and Hilarious has compiled and easy-to-follow timeline:

2014 Sochi Winter Olympic Timeline

August 29, 2013 - Russian President Vladimir Putin begins motions within the International Olympic Committee (IOC) to permanently remove the hues of the Olympic flag, in an effort to eliminate any possible confusion with the "colorful gay flags of the west." The requests is still in review with IOC.

September 10, 2013 - The Angry Snowman Building Event eliminated from the Olympic games roster.

October 28, 2013 - Olympic torch diverted from St. Petersburg to several towns in Colorado, to light scores of "doobies" that have mysteriously appeared across the state.

October 30, 2013 - Vladimir Putin outlaws same-sex figure skating and same-sex hockey teams.

November 20, 2013 - The IOC changes critical rules in the Cross-Country Skiing Event. During the 2014 Olympics, athletes must cross the international border into Alaska, make-out with Sarah Palin, and hitch a ride back to Sochi with an Ice Road Trucker.

November 23, 2013 - Another change imposed by the IOC:  in the hopes of controlling overpopulation, athletes participating in the Biathlon are given the authority to shoot-to-kill any Yeti.

December 25, 2013 - Soviet-era rules now apply to both the men's and women's Snowball Fighting Event, allowing composition of rocks and/or icicles within the snowy missile's center.

January 2, 2014 - Any athlete caught using real cherubs in the Snow Angel Event, will be disqualified.

January 17, 2014 - Both Opening and Closing Ceremonies to include a sing-a-long of "Winter Wonderland."  Additionally, the Russian Government has made it illegal for anyone to replace the lyrics, "walking in a winter wonderland" with "walking in women's underwear."