I think free papers on the tube are a great idea. We can read about the latest rapes and murders, not to mention seeing a picture of a dog or cat sitting around doing nothing. What gets me is how people are so desperate to read the Paper, they will do whatever they can to keep reading, no matter how busy the train is. Ladies and gentlemen, there comes a time when you just have to stand up like a normal person and not try to spread out an entire newspaper in a carriage that's full as hell.

Then there's the paper-poking. If the train is full and you have a paper reader standing behind you, the pages will poke and rest on you at every opportunity. A few times, people have actually rested the paper on my back. From now on, I will set fire to any paper that touches me.