By Chuck Nelson

Editors Note: This article was written before the recent legalization laws passed during the election.

In 2009 alone there were 858,408 arrests for violation of Marijuana laws. Let me repeat that. In 2009 alone there were 858,408 arrests for violation of marijuana laws.That’s 71,534 arrests per month, 16,507 arrests per week, 2,351 arrests per day, 98 arrests per hour, 1.6 arrests per minute.

For marijuana.

Of the nearly two million incarcerated citizens in the United States approximately 32% (640,000) are for minor drug offenses. Rather than treating the problem they lock it away hoping that it corrects itself, or rather that it doesn’t correct itself. Nothing fuels a business better than repeat customers.

That’s all I have to say about marijuana laws. I’m not hear to preach reform. I’m not here to say that it’s wrong. I know that alcohol prohibition did not work in the 1920’s, and that nationwide marijuana prohibition has not worked since it’s inception 75 years ago. The history of prohibition supposedly goes back as far as 1910 when a group of Mormons traveled to Mexico, and brought cannabis back with them. The church flipped the fuck out. Which supposedly led to it’s first banning in the U.S. (Besides Mitt Romney, and polygamy laws another thing we can thank Mormons for. Thanks!)

Now I can sit here all day, and argue the pros and cons of marijuana, or breakdown the reasons why it was banned in the first place (racism, paper/fuel industry, religious reasons, etc.) but that sounds like a lot of work. I’m not interested in boring you with those kinds of things, so let’s take an honest (and humorous), non-biased (completely biased) look at the facts vs. the myths (because really those are the fun things to look at when it comes to pot, well that and cartoons.)

Myth #1: Marijuana is highly addictive.

I can’t completely disagree with this, but it’s more along the lines as addictive as cake, and conveniently enough marijuana addiction leads to cake addiction. Which in turn makes it a gateway drug. We’ll get to that later. Marijuana’s effects are appetite inducing, euphoric, and soporific. Or as Katt Williams put it so eloquently; hungry; happy; sleepy. All of those effects in and of themselves are addictive, so much to the point that they are necessary to live. Well maybe not happy, because I know some miserable bastards who have been that way for years, and they’re still fucking my day up on a regular basis. I can see how people would become addicted to a substance that makes the things you have to do in life easier.

Fact #1: Most people who use marijuana only do so occasionally

I mean who wouldn’t love to stay baked 24/7? Most of us have shit to do though. You can’t be walking around all glassy eyed, and cotton mouthed. People won’t take you seriously. You’ll forget what you’re doing, or where you’re going, and end up hitting 3 fast food drive-thru lanes before you remember that you were on your way to work. Most regular marijuana users have the ability to keep their shit under control. They may want to get stoned before grandma’s birthday party, but they fucking know better. To say that marijuana use debilitates a person to the point of complete dependence is ridiculous, I mean it’s not crack.

Myth #2: Marijuana is a gateway drug.

Marijuana does not lead to other drugs. Marijuana leads to the munchies, which then leads to diabetes, which then leads to insulin. So I guess it is a gateway in some fashion. No one in the history of the world has ever been, “So that weed was really good. I think I’ll try some heroin now.” That’s not how it happens at all. I’ve never finished smoking a bowl, and had a sudden urge to find some crack. Other drugs may become more readily available when someone attempts to purchase marijuana, or so I’ve heard. That does not necessarily mean that a marijuana smoker will purchase said goods.

Fact #2: Most Marijuana users never use any other illegal drugs

The reason that most people think that marijuana is a gateway drug is because it’s the easiest drug to find. Which in turn means that people who use harder drugs have more than likely used marijuana as well. You’ll find more people who have used cocaine that have also used marijuana than stoners who get down on some nose candy. It’s not a cause and effect, it’s just a coincidence. It may make you more susceptible to experimenting with harder drugs due to the fact that you may find these drugs easier. Much in the way that buying a house in Florida makes you more susceptible to getting hit by a hurricane. You weren’t looking to go wading in your pajamas when you purchased the property, but after Hurricane Ivan you really don’t have a choice anymore.

Myth #3: Medical Marijuana is just a backdoor route to legalization.

Tell that to someone who is fighting cancer, and a couple hits of that sticky-icky takes away the pain from the chemo, and radiation. I’ve had a lot of stoner friends in my life, and to think that a group of hippies could convince the medical community to get behind something like this is, well, it’s ludicrous. A couple of doctors who like to puff the Buddha are more than likely not going to convince 17 states that it’s probably a pretty good idea.

Fact #3: Medical Marijuana has been found to have many varying benefits for a variety of ailments

There are benefits for everything from AIDS to Seizures. It’s almost a play on A-Z. I’ll take it. From relieving pain associated with Crohns Disease to decreasing nausea in cancer patients. The FDA has rejected these claims, but what the hell do they know anyway? They can’t decide if eggs are good for you or not. Until they can figure that out I’ll believe what I’ve seen with my own eyes as far as the pain relief, and increase in appetite has gone with people I know who have used it after surgery, or radiation treatment for cancer.

I’m done with the comparing of facts, and myths. If you support the legalization/decriminalization of marijuana chances are you made it all the way through this article. The people who believe that marijuana is the devil’s lettuce are usually so closed minded they won’t accept things like facts, and science. (All of the above facts are cited with research by real life scientists, like Bill Nye and shit.)

I’m not saying that I’m for the legalization necessarily, because it scares me to think what will happen to something that does have a lot of benefits for people once corporations get a hold of it. Look at what they did to tobacco with all the additives, and making them one of the most addictive consumable on the planet. I hate to think that you could develop tumors from smoking Marlboro weed.

Whether or not that ever happens it’s a part of our society, and just like Jersey Shore and Ke$ha, we’re going to have to find an approach to accepting it, or attempt to eradicate it from the planet. The War on Drugs has been a colossal failure, and done nothing more than cost the government billions of dollars we can’t afford, while also incarcerating people for a longer length of time than a rapist in some cases. Is that fair? I don’t think so. I know this wasn’t that funny, but it’s something I truly believe in.

Citations:

http://www.drugpolicy.org/drug-facts/10-facts-about-marijuana

http://marijuana-arrests.com/US-arrests.html

http://www.cannabissearch.com/medical_benefits/