By the Wanz

            Even though I did NOT post this on time, I would LIKE to think that most consistent thing you can expect from me is my inconsistency… J

            I apology profusely for writing and posting this late, but as some of you know I’ve moved to California and I’m “technically” homeless (i.e.: without a residential address). I’m staying with family in a different city and commuting into San Francisco Monday-Friday (and on the weekends I take a LONG bus/lightrail ride between cities). So my free time to write is a little limited just cause… well, there are only certain buses here in the Bay that I’d take my laptop out on.

            Otherwise, muggings ensue, we don’t want that to happen again, and I wouldn’t be able to write my blog. #robbedbloggerproblems

            ANYWHO, on this week’s Life In Transit, we’re going to discuss errors that my bus drivers have made. I was gonna originally call up “Fuck Ups My Bus Driver Made” but I felt the other title held some slight degree of subtly. Just remember, this is just recounting some blips in the lives and careers of some amazing people who commute us around! They are people too, and sometimes, they mess up. (Though one or two may just be truly bad people.)

            Let’s begin our stroll down memory lane…

1.              Drive-by(e)s – Here’s a basic one. As much as I appreciate my chatty drivers, I have definitely encountered distracted drivers. This is a problem when a driver passes by someone waiting for the bus and then they don’t stop to let them catch the bus. They’re just like, “Ooops. Sucks for them.” and I’m like, “We haven’t even gone one whole block. You can still redeem yourself. Better yourself. Save yourself! STOP THE BUS.” (I’ve never actually said this, but the thoughts are there… especially when said person who the bus passes is… well, me.) I will speak up if my driver SKIPS my stop and I’m on the bus. That’s unforgivable.

2.              This isn’t a game of Mario Kart – This is more a jab at my commuter drivers, but there have been some instances where I was thrown back and forth on a bus in a manner that could have resulted in whiplash. (Just saying, uncool.) I would say it’s just me, until you exchange that look with a fellow passenger who’s like “What the unholy fuck is going on?!” (Oh you know that look.) And some drivers think they’re just badass at driving… Of course, then I remember a certain snow day…

SNOPOCALYPSE!!!!

(And no, I was not on this bus, just proving a point…)

3.              Pop, lock, and drop… to the floor – In the same vain, sudden stops are raaaaather annoying. Now, not all of these are the fault of the driver. In fact, most bus drivers may even think that all of these incidents are not their fault. But sometimes, we take sudden stops and yeah, the everyone on the bus is jolted forward, it’s not great. Sometimes it’s due to someone in front of us… and sometimes the driver just didn’t realize the light was red… And then, half the people are sidewalks, old people are wailing, and the bus driver’s like “No one report me… no one report me… no one re—oh, wait, IS EVERYONE OK??!”

4.              Wait? It was that way?– In their defense, drivers who get lost usually are newer drivers. However, for those of us who must endure the detour (or for those who get skipped over all together because the bus went the wrong way) are not super duper happy in any shape or form. Laughing moment for you Sir/Madame Driver, glaring moment for us.

5.              The wrongly accused – I guess I look like I listen to loud music (i.e.: young, black man). On several occasions I’m stared in the eyes and told to turn my music down by a very annoyed bus driver. I frown and usually “mime” doing it, before I check my volume. (To do the check, take out your headphones and check and see if you can hear it one foot in front of you. If you can, it’s on too loud. If you can’t, then the white dude next to you who would “never listen to music loudly” is probably the perp.) Way to assume… and we know what happens when you assume…

6.              Misdirection – Certain buslines run along the same routes as others. In fact, some buslines are the same as other buslines they just start in different arenas. (SF Example: the 7 and the 71 and the 6 from Haight Ashbury toward downtown all bring you to the same place. Tacoma/Seattle Example: 590 and the 594 all bring you from Tacoma to Seattle, one bus just starts in Lakewood.) There was definitely a driver who told a passenger waiting for a bus (that took them to the same place as they were heading) that he wasn’t that bus and that she should wait. That poor woman was probably waiting for another 2 hrs, or until a driver who knew what he/she was talking about came along.

7.              Childhood Memories – This is less of a sin, and more of a win, but our schoolbus driver definitely would go as fast as he could over certain speed bumps when we were in summer. Not safe, but still fun. (Coincidentally, he got fired for smoking weed on the bus during his transit breaks… Classic.)

8.              Red light runners – Seriously, they don’t give a fuck. Laws? Pffft. Fuck that.

9.              You’re old as HELL – I would get carded a lot when I was 16 and 17 by my drivers. There are  some who I think genuinely thought I was like in my 20s trying to pull a fast one on them. (I saw pictures of me when I was that age, I was not old looking.) Anyway, you prematurely scarred me. Just a heads up.

10.           You drove off that one time that I got mugged – JUST SAYING, you did. (Boom! Brought it back full circle.) Because I remember the day my laptop was snatched outta my hands and I grabbed onto the guy who stole it and was flung to the cementy ground. AND YOU DROVE AWAY WITH THE REST OF MY STUFF STILL ON YOUR BUS. I had to CHASE AFTER YOU just to get the rest of my stuff, and most definitely bled on your bus (my only win.) You are, and forever will be, the must sinful bus driver. The worst part—I don’t know remember who you are, but I will also remember what you do. And now the rest of the internet hates you.

a.     On a subnote: The bus driver who was there when that young girl got robbed on the bus (no physical harm) probably didn’t know it happened, because the 7 in Seattle is a pretty long, sketchy bus. But if you did, then you have no soul good sir… no soul…

Think I was too harsh? Care to share your own tale? Think you have a better story?  Then I say prove it!!! Leave us a comment dammit! J (I share-dare ya!) Post your experience on our blog or our twitter account at http://twitter.com/LifeInTransitTJor on our facebook at http://www.facebook.coom/lifeintransittjor send us an email at [email protected] we may post your message / picture!!