God dammit I went to edit this post and accidentally deleted the whole thing, then what happens?  Blogger fucking autosaved it.  Fucking ugh.

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Previously on "Everything's Coming Up Russes!"

Russ got home one night and was getting ready for bed, as was The Prophet.  The Drug Addict went into the kitchen, and started talking to Russ.

"Hey Russ got something for ya."
"Oh yea?"
"Check it out..."

He approached Russ and held out a tiny ziplock bag that contained some sort of brown mass.

"Pot brownie dude."
"Oh uh..."

Russ took the bag and examined it.  It didn't really look like a brownie, it was really dark brown, and super compressed.

"You don't even have to pay me dude, it's yours."
"Uh..."

Normally Russ would have been all over that, but he didn't really trust The Drug Addict, also The Prophet was in the room and Russ wanted to keep his wizard habit on the down low.

"Well... I'm not really a brownie guy."

Which was actually true.  Russ wasn't big on chocolate.

"You sure man?  It'll fuck you up... it's some good shit."
"Well..."
"But hey if you're not going to eat it, I can give it to someone else or keep it..."
"Yea man I don't think so... thanks though."
"Alright alright."

The Drug Addict walked over to The Prophet.

"Yo, "The Prophet" you want this?"

The Prophet must not have been paying too much attention.

"Oh man, I'm not really into sweet thanks though."
"No no man... it's a pot brownie."
"What?"
"It's god pot baked in, it'll mess you up."
"Ha ha ha what?  Really?  Aw, no man, I don't do that kinda thing, marijuana."
"Ok, ok."

The Drug Addict's wandering eye must of finally grazed over The Prophet's belongings, including the security outfit that was hanging up.

"Oh... uh... you do security, or patrol or something?"

The Drug Addict seemed to be a little nervous.  The Prophet went on to explain that he just does part-time security for some company, he wasn't a real cop or anything.

"Oh cool, you think you can get me a job doing that too man?  I need more work."

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I can't believe I have to redo this fucking post.

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Bored with sitting at the coffee shops most of the day surfing the internets, Russ decided to go for a stroll.  It was beautiful out, and Russ decided to play his Power Pump Up Mix Volume Russ.

"Uh what?  You've got your own pump up mix?"
"Fuck yes I do.  When life gets me down, a regular occurrence here in LA, my power mix hits the spot."
"What's on your power mix?  Will you tell us?"
"Fuck no.  Get your own power mix... alright fine."

1)"Russball Rock"
2)"Every Russ's Free (To Feel Good)"
3)"The Moment of Russ"
4)"Russ Box Hero"
5)"You're the Best a-Russ"
6)"Russell and Russell"

*All artist's gave their consent in renaming the track names.

It's a short list, but it helps.

As Russ went for a walk on this oh so beautiful day, he walked down Hollywood Blvd, and crossed the street.  There was a young teenager standing on the corner with his skateboard talking to people, he looked at Russ.

"Hey man, you have a phone?"
"Yea..."
"Mine just got stolen can I borrow yours to make a call?"

The kid reeked of the dope, the marijuana.

"Uh... sure."

Russ didn't want this punk kid to get his grubby little mitts all over his iPhone, so instead Russ handed the kid his headset.

"Oh no, can I just use your phone?"
"No.  Put this in your ear, and talk through here.  Now what's the number?"

The kid put the headset in and then pulled out a cell phone.

"What's that?"
"Oh, my phone."
"You said it was stolen."
"Yea... uh... sorry man I'm really faded."

The kid gave Russ a number to dial, and because Russ didn't put a "1" first, the call didn't go through.

"It didn't work."
"Oh ok."
"Lemme try another number..."

The kid gave Russ another number, and this time Russ put a "1" first.

"Hello? --- Hey! --- What's going on man?  ---  Where you at?  --- Uh huh.  ----  Yea  ---  Well wanna hang out? ---  Ok, just call me back then.  ---  Bye."

Russ started to reach for his headset.

"Oh my friends going to call me back in a few minutes."
"Yea, I'm not going to wait here for your friend to call you back."

Russ took his headset and started to walk down the street.

"Well hey thanks man."

Russ turned and started to give the kid a nod, when the kid stuck out his hand waiting for Russ to shake it.  Russ didn't want to touch the kid, but he shook his hand, and continued his stroll.

"You're lucky I was listening to my power mix kid, otherwise I wouldn't have been in a good enough mood to stop and help.  Fucking kids."

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Russ would go to one coffee shop for the first half of the day, and then go to another coffee shop for the last half of the day... there were three in very short walking distance from where he was staying.  He'd go to the one that stayed open the latest, second.

When Russ went into the coffee shop he went up to order a drink.

"Hey Russ!"
"Uh hey..."
"You've been here the last few nights... I close here every night."
"Oh cool."
"I'm Junior."
"Nice to meet you man... Russ... so could I get a Grande Shaken Iced Green Tea unsweetened?"  (I fucking hate ordering this drink, but it's cheap and low in calies!)
"So did you just move to the area or what?"
"Uh... kind of... I'm staying pretty close to here, so you'll probably see me a lot."
"Cool... where'd you move from?"
"Kansas City."
"Nice."
"Yea... so..."
"Oh uh... 2.45$ man."
"Thanks."

God dammit... now that this kid had introduced himself to Russ, Russ was going to feel obligated to tip him.  Why couldn't it of been one of the two hot chicks Russ had seen working here a few nights?  Oh well.

The next few nights Russ would find a different coffee shop to go to.

"Fuck that friendly ass dude."

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Coming up on "Everything's Coming Up Russes!"

The Prophet and The Actor team up, and attack Russ when he's least expecting it!  Will Russ survive?  Will he be swayed to join their side?  Stay tuned.