Ah, e-mail. A wondrous invention, it allows us to communicate immediately with our friends, our colleagues, all at the touch of an innocent-looking Send button. But this clever invention is fraught with danger and can be a curse for the unwary.
‘No, what e-mail?’
‘The e-mail I just sent you. About Jane*?’ (*name changed)
‘No, I didn’t, honestly I have no idea what you’re on about.’
My colleague's grin began to thin out and fade, and he scrolled to his “Sent” folder. He then proceeded to go whiter than a ‘True Blood’ vampire.
So, here are my tips for e-mail in the workplace:-
Are there any office topics that you would like me to discuss? Let me know by commenting on this blog.
There have been numerous cases of people losing their jobs due to e-mail. Comments that would, in the past, have been made in person or on the telephone, are typed into that lovely glowing white message box, the send button is clicked and hey presto, the excrement hits the proverbial fan.
There is the famous case of the woman who sent a racy e-mail to a friend in a London law firm. The e-mail was forwarded on to a few other friends, and bang, it became a rolling snowball. Before you could say 'okay, I'll just pack up my desk', over a million people had seen the e-mail. Not a great career move.Several years ago, one of my ex-work colleagues once sent me an e-mail moaning about our manager, including some abusive (albeit accurate) jokes about said manager’s nature. Well, to be accurate, apparently sent me an e-mail.
‘Did you get my e-mail? Did you not find it funny?’ My colleague had a grin on his face, he was obviously pleased with his jokes. ‘No, what e-mail?’
‘The e-mail I just sent you. About Jane*?’ (*name changed)
‘No, I didn’t, honestly I have no idea what you’re on about.’
My colleague's grin began to thin out and fade, and he scrolled to his “Sent” folder. He then proceeded to go whiter than a ‘True Blood’ vampire.
‘Oh, f***, I meant to send it to you. I’ve just sent it to her.’
This mistake is easily made – you’re typing about someone and then you send it to them. My colleague began to shake and looked across at our manager's desk. She wasn’t at her desk at that moment, so my colleague did a Usain Bolt-like sprint to the IT department, and begged and bribed one of the more amenable IT guys to remove the e-mail before she could read it.
Luck was on his side that day - IT had the power to do it, and deleted the e-mail from the manager's inbox (in exchange for the promise of several pints) - but I’m not so sure that IT would be quite so accommodating these days.The best
way to use e-mail at work is to use it as little as possible. A former boss of mine used to always give me instructions and tasks over the phone. That way, when these instructions were contentious or turned out to be incorrect (which they frequently were), he simply blamed me and denied that he’d ever asked me to do that particular task.- Assume your e-mails are being read by your boss. This is supposed to be unlikely, as it breaches your personal rights, but it is more commonplace than you may think
- Don’t ever forward on jokes, no matter how funny they are (and especially not those ones that contain funny pictures of people’s front bottoms)
- Be non-committal when answering queries (you will notice that senior management are experts at this)
- When you receive an e-mail requesting some sort of confirmation that is addressed to a group of people including yourself, wait until the most senior person included in that group e-mail has responded. Then reply saying ‘I concur’ with “(insert senior person's name here)”
- Don’t flirt by e-mail. Even if the person you're flirting with likes you. Even if you are having an office fling with them, and they are happy to go horizontal jogging with you. People are fickle. One day, your relationship with that man/woman will break down, and they may decide to forward your e-mails on to other colleagues to embarrass you. Or to HR, so that you get fired.
- And, most importantly, never send an e-mail in a fit of anger. The recall button does not work, and it will end in tears. Probably your own.
Good luck.
Will T.Are there any office topics that you would like me to discuss? Let me know by commenting on this blog.
Will Thurmann is the author of the ebook ‘The Kit Bag’, available now on amazon.
This post first appeared on How To Be A Survivor In The Modern Office, please read the originial post: here
