I have a little Dream. It involves living on the coast in
Bernacki has a dream, too. She wants to move out west and be a hippie for a few years. Unfortunately, Bernacki’s dreams don’t exactly match up to what her family wants from her, and it leads to some tension. They want her to get married and have kids, and just stay near home forever.
Well, I know what it’s like to have a dream, and I want to see Bernacki’s dreams fulfilled. That’s why I’ve charted out the path of her future, and am posting it here, so that she can check back and make sure that she’s on the right path.
THE MOVE
After graduation, Bernacki moves out west and lives like a hippie for a little while, eventually settling in Portland , Oregon
| also, she looks like this. |
One day, she will find herself taking soil samples on the beach, when she will look up and see the perfect man as he emerges from the surf, like a hairy Aphrodite.
She will promptly take the specimen to her lab for analysis.
FAMILY LIFE
At some point, Bernacki will get tired of saving the environment and building time-traveling jet packs 24/7, and will scale back on those activities just enough to make time to have a couple of kids. She will, I have no doubt, expertly balance the responsibilities of her work and home life, so that her children will never feel neglected, and neither will her hybrid monkey-lilies.
| They look weird, but they smell a lot better than the average monkey. |
She and her biologist trophy husband will be completely happy with their life together, and their children will be the happiest, healthiest kids on the West Coast.
But, inevitably, the time will come that discontent will fill Bernacki’s heart. She will be in a bookstore, browsing lady-scientist fiction, and she will see the author’s name…
…and she will long to see old friends again.
So, Bernacki will reach out to the friends she once knew. She will become reacquainted with their boring, unscientific lives. She will remember the good “thymes” we once shared and she will, at some point, decide to fly back east to visit.
| And, boy, are her arms tired! ...sorry. |
After catching up with family and friends in New York, she will come up to Maine to see me, who just so happens to also live in Portland, because that was who she really came back east to see in the first place; let’s not lie to ourselves.
After we have been properly introduced to each other’s families, we will all go out for a nice dinner and catch up.
We will be incredibly impressed with each other’s children.
| mah bebehs. |
By the end of the evening, an amazing discovery will be made…
…and we will part again, happy to have seen each other. Bernacki will spend the rest of her life content, remembering why she moved away in the first place, and will never question her life decisions again. Everyone will live happily ever after.
Except for Sarah, who grew a beard.
