JUNIPER ISLAND, FL – Over the weekend, Vice President Al Gore postponed a lucrative trip to Copenhagen so he might convince golf impresario Tiger Woods to confess to him. Gore told reporters that at this point in his life, a confession from Tiger Woods would be “even more important” to him than the global apocalypse he is currently milking. “Saving millions, if not billions of people from drowning in the next ten years is so important to me. It has become my mission, if you will. It has become my purpose, my reason for breathing…and even other things too.” He sipped from his bottle United Nations Approved mineral water. “But if I could somehow convince Tiger Woods to confess to me, well…to be honest with you, the impending doom of Mother Earth can wait a few days. I mean, in all candor, aren’t we all just standing in a long line waiting to be engulfed in the proverbial flames of the inevitable abyss?” He paused to look at notes. “Periodically, one must endeavor to embrace something that will provide a temporary reprieve from the horrific agony and torture the future brings. I for one happen to find my solace when […]