– Hey! Did you touch my drum set?
– Hey, knock it off!

I know you touched my drumstick, because the left one has a chip in it.

You fucking crazy, man? You sound insane, do you realize that? You should be medicated.

Fuck you, Brennan. I know you touched my drum set. I wanna hear that dirty mouth admit it.

You get out of my face, or I’m gonna roundhouse your ass.

You swear on your mom’s life that you didn’t touch it!

I don’t swear to shit!

Find My Dale’s Pale Ale Shirt

A completely unnecessary opening for this post. I almost always prefer Dale’s lines to Brennan’s but the, “I don’t swear to shit” is a personal favorite.

Back on topic, I’ve managed to lose my Dale’s Pale Ale Shirt and I’m a bit annoyed. How do you lose a t-shirt? A jacket is one article of clothing that gets taken off with frequency and it makes sense that it gets lost more often. But a t-shirt? I’m not going topless into places. It doesn’t get removed until it arrives back home to where I went. It’s possible I made an error packing on one of my recent trips and it’s still sitting in a suitcase but I doubt it. I’ve managed to lose it.

T-shirts should be replaced. The worst T-shirt you can wear is one that has a date on it and people can be like, “wow that shirt is 10 years old.” Although I admit it must be a bit of a personal accomplishment that a t-shirt has made it so long, there is another sense that:

1. You’re too poor to replace it
2. You’re too lazy to replace it
3. You don’t give a shit about how you dress.

To each their own.

I’m not suggesting that rotating t-shirts is a huge deal. It’s about #150 on my top priority list of life but I do begin to get a feeling that I’ve been wearing a t-shirt too long. The decals start to peel. It starts smelling a bit. The fit is off because its been washed too many times. Plus I know that people have seen me in it for so long that even they begin to notice that I’ve had it since Nixon was president. This brings me to replacing the Dale’s shirt.

At this point I’ve pretty much come to the conclusion that I won’t be seeing the Dale’s shirt again. I personally enjoyed my short time with the shirt and will probably be replacing it with the same exact shirt that I bought directly from the brewery. I’ll also buy a few more and here a few thoughts I have on what I may also be purchasing:

Music – I’ll probably buy a band t-shirt that I like that most other people don’t. I have a Zeppelin, a Doors, and Stones shirt which are kind of played out. I own a Sublime and Nirvana shirt from Target that I will never wear again. I wouldn’t venture into the New Wave shirts because people will think you never made it to the present era like Bertam from Sandlot. Plus I took some flack when I bought a Bowie shirt which I wouldn’t want to go through again. Some alt band that’s popular that I like such as the Shins (love the new album) or Electric Guest (who no one knows about) may be possible but I don’t think so.

TV – I usually don’t venture into TV because I’m not representing fictional characters. I can’t sport a Billy Bob from Fargo shirt even though I thought he was great but people would be like WTF and it would cause more trouble than it’s worth representing.

Sports – I’m a big sports fan but not in the dedication to one team. I’m more into an overall awareness of what’s going on in as many sports as possible. If you’re wearing a team shirt, you better be able to answer some follow up questions because the worst guy is the guy who says, “I just like the shirt.”

Alcohol – I don’t mind promoting alcohol I like to drink. There are so many craft breweries that if you find one that you particularly like, it’s a nice gesture to support their cause. It’s free advertising for them and when people ask you about it, you can say you enjoy the beer. Plus this is a decent connection to other people who also enjoy it.

So if you happen to know where my Dale’s shirt is, you’ll probably save me $30. Any other good suggestions on shirts?

The post Where’s My Dale’s T-Shirt? appeared first on Hot Takes On Life.