- I have cried way too many times since you were born. More than I ever did before. Or Mom, for that matter.
- I have used you as an excuse to get out of social events, beg for extra chocolate-mints at Olive Garden, and cut in line at the post office.
- I have no idea what you say sometimes, but I smile and nod along. Mom doesn’t know.
- I once googled “GPS tracker for kids”.
- I have occasionally spent a few extra minutes hiding in the bathroom, sometimes wished you would sleep all day, and once dreaded a long weekend because the daycare was closed.
- I don’t think anyone else can raise you better than Mom and I can. See #5.
- I don’t give Mom enough credit for taking care of you the way she does. Or at least frequently enough.
- Whenever someone says you look just like Mom, I cry a little on the inside.
- I sometimes wish appadams weren’t your favorite food, just so that I get to finish the bowl.
- I always thought you would outsmart me by the age of 10 or 12. You counted to ten in Spanish, long before you turned two. I only know uno, dos, tres, cuatro and cinco.
- I deliberately say “I love you” a little too fast for you to understand, just to keep hearing you say “i laa loo”.
- I have been repeatedly beaten, bruised, kicked in the groin, and punched in the face. By you.
- I think you have gained a little weight.
- I am secretly plotting to turn you into a big fan of Batman, video games and zombie fiction.
- I spent months trying to keep the color pink out of your life.
- I sometimes stood outside your door, listening to you crying. When you finally fell asleep, I ran off to watch Netflix.
- I have – against all my will – begun to gradually enjoy shopping. For you. Don’t tell Mom.
- I sometimes fell asleep trying to put you to bed. Okay, several times.
- Once I went to work with banana smeared on my pants.
- ‘Butt’ was among the first 10 words you learned to say. I am responsible.
- I almost dropped you once. Just kidding. Twice. Actually, a lot. But I haven’t stopped throwing you into the air and catching you.
- You are the person I am most terrified of.
- And now for some shocking confessions. My apologies in advance:
- The moon doesn’t go to sleep.
- We don’t run out of cheese every third day.
- The iPhone is in my other pocket.
- Papa is not always ‘too tired’ to play. Sometimes he is just lazy.
- I use YouTube to entertain you more often than I like to admit.
- I love you a teeny-tiny bit more than I love Mom.
Filed under: The Paternity Ward Tagged: Letter, Parenting
This post first appeared on Theishu « Boredom Is The Mother Of Blogging, please read the originial post: here
