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Snark, Sass, & Sarcasm Blog


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It's never a dull moment. I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. I also have imaginary conversations with my toddlers, my cats, and sometimes with the inanimate objects in my house.
2022-12-19 01:00
To whom it may concern, Earlier this week I went on my first business trip. I’m in my mid-forties. I’ve been divorced and remarried. I’ve birthed, breastfed, butt-wiped, an… Read More
2020-03-01 01:00
If you’re new to this blog series, please read this first. This week I’m reviewing the book of Leviticus. It’s now been three months since Moses and his people fled Egypt… Read More
2020-02-13 01:00
The last week and a half has been filled with one eye-opening experience after another. And here they all are! Smushed into one blog post in no particular order. via GIPHY Girl Scout cookies… Read More
2020-02-09 01:00
via GIPHY Fun facts about Exodus! At the time of Moses’ birth, the pyramids of Giza were 1,000 years old The book of Exodus spans 81 years Moses is Jacob’s great grandson (I thin… Read More
2020-02-06 01:00
I have a confession. I’m in a Bible club. That’s not the confession. The confession is that I’m very confused. via GIPHY In Bible club we’re studying the Sabbath. I&r&hell…Read More
2020-02-02 01:00
If you’re new to this blog series, please read this first.  The Tower of Babel Many, many, many, many, many, many years later descendants of Noah settled somewhere….I&rsquo&hell…Read More
2020-01-30 01:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.   Dear Ellen,   Last week my kids celebrated their 100th day of school. You know what that means? That… Read More
2020-01-26 01:00
If you’re new to this series, please read this first. Earlier this week I finished reading Genesis. One book down. 65 to go. As I mentioned in Blogging the Bible, I’m using this… Read More
2020-01-23 01:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear Ellen, Earlier this month, we celebrated the loss of the six-year-old’s first tooth. The tooth had be… Read More
2020-01-19 01:00
I have no idea where to begin. Guess that means I’ll start at the beginning.     via GIPHY  My Not-So-Great Childhood Experience with Christianity  I was born and r… Read More
2019-12-12 01:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear Ellen, Because life hasn’t been crazy enough at the Silver residence, last week the garage attacked m… Read More
2019-11-14 01:00
Dear Diary, Oh the agony! The upset! The heartache! My happiness and well-being are spiraling downhill. And it’s all Boy-Dadda’s fault. This whole thing started when he got hit b… Read More
2019-11-08 01:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear Ellen, This blog post is a continuation of “No, Mom. I Haven’t Been Drinking.” On this da… Read More
2019-10-31 00:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear Ellen, Today’s blog post is a continuation from yesterday. 40 minutes after all of the tests were com… Read More
2019-10-30 00:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear Ellen, The day my husband was discharged from the hospital, all hell broke loose at the Silver house. It st… Read More
2019-10-29 00:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear Ellen, Just when I thought we were through the scariest part, we had another fright. This blog post is a co… Read More
2019-10-28 00:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear Ellen, This blog post is a continuation from yesterday.  The morning after the motor vehicle collision… Read More
2019-10-27 00:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear Ellen,  My husband is okay, but on September 17th, I received a phone call no one ever wants to get. T… Read More
2019-10-26 00:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear Ellen, My husband is okay but on September 17th, I received a phone call no one ever wants to get. Septembe… Read More
2019-10-22 00:00
Clarissa flexed her perfectly polished toes as she leaned against the chaise lounge chair, sipping one of Judy’s famous mid-day martinis. “This is heaven.” “Isn&rsquo&hell…Read More
2019-08-27 00:00
Clarissa and Becky listened intently as Judy went through her recent adventures. She made notes in a small notebook as she spoke. “The things that people do. It makes me tired just thi… Read More
2019-07-11 00:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear Ellen, It’s been a week since I took Baby Girl to Atlanta to get her TLSO brace.   via GIPHY&nbs&hell…Read More
2019-07-04 00:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear Ellen, Last week, the baby came out of her cast! I’d like to tell you it was an exciting moment for e… Read More
2019-06-13 00:00
“Disgraceful. Utterly disgraceful,” Clarissa said, scrolling through thumbnail images on Facebook. “I know,” Becky said. “It’s like A. Marie is thumbing h… Read More
2019-06-08 00:00
***Continued from May 31, 2019*** ***Content warning: This blog post discusses a child death that I investigated several years ago. To continue reading, scroll down.***     via GIP… Read More
2019-06-04 00:00
Thanks for shopping Snark, Sass, & Sarcasm! I’ll see you next time Read More
2019-06-01 00:00
Content Warning: This blog post discusses the death of a child. To continue reading, scroll down.       via GIPHY  I arrived at the residence sometime after 11:00 a.m. Th… Read More
2019-05-30 00:00
Dear Diary, I suffered the most harrowing ordeal over the weekend. It started on Saturday. Something very strange was going on. Momma was going up and down the stairs, carrying stuff. Toys w… Read More
2019-05-25 00:00
John Oliver sums up the difference between a medical examiner and a coroner beautifully in this episode of Last Week Tonight! And he’s much more entertaining than I am. Check out this… Read More
2019-05-23 00:00
“You are a very happy man!” “Uh huh,” my husband muttered as he sat reading the news on his tablet. “No,” I said. “I don’t think you understan… Read More
2019-05-18 00:00
“I think I’m going to put in for a search warrant. What do you think?” The detective asked. “The search warrant is your call, but—” I looked around the ap… Read More
2019-05-16 00:00
Becky sobbed uncontrollably. “How could she be so insensitive?” “Oh, Sweetie,” Clarissa said, “You know how that woman can be. Always thinking about h… Read More
2019-05-11 00:00
It was the middle of summer. A bright, sunny day. The victim was found in her backyard. She was lying on a plastic chaise chair, wearing a swimsuit. Next to the chair was a free-standing fan… Read More
2019-05-09 00:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear Ellen, Yesterday, I took the baby back to the doctor to get her foot looked at. If you don’t remember… Read More
2019-05-07 00:00
“Wow!” Becky said, after viewing a tutorial Clarissa put together on how to part a small child’s hair. “That’s fantastic. Do you think she’ll watch it?&rd&hell…Read More
2019-05-02 00:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear Ellen, This isn’t related to baby girl’s scoliosis. But it is related to her ongoing pediatric… Read More
2019-04-25 00:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear Ellen, On Saturday afternoon, I took the baby to the doctor’s office. “Well,” the doctor… Read More
2019-04-20 00:00
It was a normal night at the morgue. In case you might inquire, “normal,” meant I was sitting at my desk, sending out subpoenas for medical records, interviewing family members o… Read More
2019-04-18 00:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear Ellen, Last weekend, my baby boy.     Turned seven-years-old. I’m sure it will come to no s… Read More
2019-04-16 00:00
It was a beautiful, sunny day at the van Wench residence. Becky and Clarissa are indulging in mid-day, sugar-free, gluten-free, margaritas at Judy’s pool. “I’ve never been… Read More
2019-04-13 00:00
“I’ve been seeing all these reports on the news about H1N1 and that it can cause deaths and I have some concerns,” the caller said. “Okay.” This conversation to… Read More
2019-04-11 00:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear Ellen, It was a warm, sunny evening. The temperature was probably in the 70s. This day came after a day of… Read More
2019-04-06 00:00
“Medical Examiner’s office.” It was early on a weekend morning at the morgue. “Yes,” a woman said. “Yes, I need you to come. I need someone to come.&rdquo&hell…Read More
2019-04-04 00:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can.   Dear Ellen, On Sunday afternoon, I drove Baby Girl back to Atlanta to get her third cast. The procedure w… Read More
2019-03-30 00:00
This is a continuation of last week’s blog – Postmortem Identification. You’re always welcome to read it but if you don’t have time, I’ll sum up last week&rsquo&hell…Read More
2019-03-28 00:00
Dear Diary, The other morning, I was making the rounds. Given that I’m the supervisory-cat-of-household-operations, it’s my job to make sure that every thing functions according… Read More
2019-03-26 00:00
***Click on the emails to enlarge.*** via GIPHY    via GIPHY     Thanks for shopping Snark, Sass, & Sarcasm! I’ll see you next time Read More
2019-03-23 00:00
Two years after I began working as a death investigator, I transferred to a different office in another state. While I wasn’t new to the job, my supervisors were keeping a close eye on… Read More
2019-03-21 00:00
It was in the wee hours of the horrific Facebook crash.   via GIPHY  I sat at my desk, procrastinating tinkering with my novel. Getting it ready to send to a beta reader. I decided… Read More
2019-03-16 00:00
This blog post is dedicated to one of many Facebook discussions I’ve participated in. There’s a crime fiction group I’m a member of where writers can post questions about p… Read More
2019-03-12 00:00
This blog series is dedicated to everyone who knows more than they ever wanted to about homeowner’s associations and some of the crazy things residents do. A homeowner’s associat… Read More
2019-03-09 01:00
For the last few months, I’ve been frantically working on my first novel. I’m currently working through the third draft and hope to have the book published later this year. As I… Read More
2019-03-07 01:00
via GIPHY The following blog post contains some graphic descriptions. If you have a weak stomach, stop reading!!! via GIPHYvia GIPHYStill with me? Okay. You’ve been warned. Once upon a… Read More
2019-03-05 01:00
One of the biggest gripes I had while I was in graduate school – working on my forensic science degree – was the ridiculous number of PowerPoint presentations we had to give for… Read More
2019-02-28 01:00
I think by now I’ve made it pretty clear that I’m not normal – under any circumstances. It’s most obvious to me whenever I’m trying to do something for my kids… Read More
2019-02-19 01:00
Dear Diary, Death was knocking on my door.   via GIPHYMy mouth hurt on both sides of my face. I couldn’t chew the kibbles in my dish and my tummy growled nonstop. Not to mention t… Read More
2019-01-22 01:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear Ellen, Last week I took my 20-month-old back to Atlanta for her second cast. The good news was, I knew what… Read More
2018-12-15 01:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear Ellen, It’s finally happened. After almost seven years of being a parent, I’ve been shamed. &nb&hell…Read More
2018-12-14 01:00
I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear Ellen, Yesterday I took my baby girl back to Atlanta for her one-month check up. One month. I can’t b… Read More
2018-12-11 01:00
Last week, my two older kids participated in a nativity play. The play consisted of performers whose ages ranged from three years all the way to ten years of age. So as you can imagine, the… Read More
2018-12-04 01:00
This is the conclusion to the “Phoning PETA,” series. Dear Diary, I wrote you a poem. It’s called, Ten Things I Hate About Telephones. I hate telephones because they are ug… Read More
2018-11-29 01:17
This blog is a continuation of Gwennie’s diary entry, Phoning Peta. “I need a towel! I need a towel!” The four-year-old screamed at me while I rinsed her hair. “You&r&hell…Read More
2018-11-27 01:00
Dear Diary, Everything has been awful! First, Momma disappeared for almost two days. She took the Daikini child with her which was nice but I keep telling her, “If you’re going t… Read More
2018-11-24 01:00
This is the epilogue to the “Our New Normal,” series. You can read the rest of the series here. I write letters to Ellen DeGeneres. No particular reason. Just because I can. Dear… Read More

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