Dude, college is Fucking killing me right now.

I’ve been like super-duper M.I.A. because, I have so much school work and like no motivation to do any of it which is such a bad habit.

I honestly, am ready to freaking drop out. I’m super broke, I’m always tired, and now have two fucking jobs with no Class textbooks. I’m like on the brink of a breakdown. Last night, I cried at work because I was feeling so fucking overwhelmed.

Can I just go buy my Mindy Kaling book, and go to her book signing already. That’s like the only thing I’m looking forward to right now, that and my date night with E. I have been working out non stop trying to lose weight cause I feel like a cow, but shit keeps coming up and I never make it to the gym.

As you all know I have like so much insecurities with my weight, so I keep looking at this gif and thinking damn I need to just learn to love my body, and if I want to improve it I can, but to never think that there’s something wrong with it. It’s really hard though, especially when some people put you down at times.

Anyways, I love Mindy and I hope I become a OBGYN just like she was in her show, The Mindy Project. I know it sounds silly, BUT there was a girl who was interviewed by Seventeen magazine because she lived her life-like my second fave show Gossip Girl. So no judgment should be passed, considering the fact that she dressed like the character Blair W., and went to the same college as the characters (Columbia University). That is also, my dream college. If anyone actually cares about this article, just click this sentence and it’ll send you to the site.

*Sigh*

I so wish I went there, I aspire to go there for medical school to be completely honest. I don’t even care about who tells me I can’t make it there, because I’m going to work that booty off to get there. in the words of the wise Will Smith, ” You got a dream… You gotta protect it. People can’t do somethin’ themselves, they wanna tell you, you can’t do it. If you want somethin’, go get it. Period.”

It’s honestly, one of the most truthful things I’ve ever heard, and I sort of live by this quote. I’ve met so many people, who have tried to tell me that I’ll never be able to do certain things or make certain this happen. The only thing that usually pop up in my head when I hear the word “Can’t” is, “challenge accepted.” Granted, I kind of had a breakdown inmate class a few minutes ago because I couldn’t figure out the Empirical Rule. Don’t laugh, that shit is hard and complicated as hell and it took me an hour to do one question with two different TA’s. I am a hot mess, and have to go buy hair to get my fro tamed– no you may not see how big of a curly mess it is. All you need to know is that I am getting box braids, and they are going to be black and burgundy. Not sure if I’m crazy about the color combo, but it was E’s idea. Let’s see how this will go!

P.S. I’m actually pretty dizzy right now while typing this, plus I’m in a biology lecture class. I’m actually half paying attention, but I do have notes and I’m recording the lecture so yeah, I’m good.