Last night...
Before going to bed, I looked at it. I examined every single section of it. And, under any other circumstance, I am sure that I would love it. I mean, it is nice. I won't lie. But, nice isn't going to cut it. Nice isn't good enough, this time around.
Just go to bed, I thought, as I gave it one more look. Sleep on it. Come tomorrow morning, you will have an answer. Come tomorrow morning, you will KNOW what to do.
Well...Here it is. It is 'tomorrow morning', and I know what I have to do. Sure, it would easier to just carry on. But, I know I can't do this. I know what I have to do.
Still though, I can't help but think. I have so much time invested in it. And now, I have to go back, to the beginning.
My mother's Christmas Afghan.
At first, it was going to be the Cross Stitch & Picot. Well, we all know how that turned out. Then, it was going to be the Medallion Afghan, which is round. And now, I am not LOVING this pattern. Sure, it is good enough. Yes, I will most likely make an afghan out of this pattern, at a later time.
But, when it comes to this particular afghan, I don't want to just settle. I want PERFECT. I want something that I know will be adored.
Last night, I had a dream. In it, I saw my Aunt B. That was all there was, to the dream. No words were spoken, and yet, I knew. I have to start this project over, yet again.
I mean, this isn't just an afghan. It has got to be special. It HAS to have that wow factor. And, the Medallion Afghan. Well, while it is pretty, it lacks the wow factor.
I got up this morning. I had my coffee. Then, I hopped on the computer. I have searched, and searched. And searched.
After I am finished with this post, I will do some school work. Then, I am sure I will spend a good part of my day, in front of the computer, scanning through different patterns. So far, NOTHING seems good enough.
I really wish I could explain it. It is like this afghan will be a representation of Aunt B. It will symbolize what she meant to me. I want it to stand out. I don't want it to be just another afghan.
I can only hope that I will find a pattern to my liking, and still have time to work it.
So far, I have checked EVERY SINGLE PATTERN, on crochetpatterncental, and none of them call to me. NONE of them say "HEY! I am the pattern for you!"
God! Why did this particular project have to get so complicated.
In the end, I know it will be worth it. But, I just wish I could make up my mind, and get started.
Stay tuned, to see what happens.
In other news...
Physical Therapy...
Things are going rather remarkably, in this department. My physical therapist is absolutely DELIGHTED, by the outstanding improvements, that I have made. Yesterday, part of my therapy session consisted of throwing a ball, at a trampoline, propped up against a wall, and having it bounce back at me. But, not just any ball. A 15 pound medicine ball. And, I am THRILLED to say that, even with the added weight of the ball, I was able to keep PERFECT balance, the whole time. Even more outstanding. I was throwing and catching this 15 pound ball, for 20 minutes STRAIGHT!
Then, there was the walking bars. Here, I showed what I believe to be MAJOR improvement.
I started off, walking, with one hand on each bar. Then, I did a few laps, holding on to just one bar. Then, I took 8 steps (Yes! I counted!) without holding on to ANYTHING! Now, I know. It will be quite a while, before I can walk cane free. It was only 8 steps, after all. But, still...How cool is that? 8 steps, with nothing but my own balance, to keep my up.
I am getting there. Each day, I feel myself getting stronger. And, each evening, I am so proud of what I have accomplished.
And to think...
(I don't actually know if I told you this.)
Before my very first surgery, the surgeon told me that, while the surgery would let me walk, there would be limitations. I would most likely ALWAYS use a walker, and it was highly unlikely, that I would ever fully abandon the wheelchair.
Yeah, well...SUCK IT! I am wheelchair free, since the beginning of this year. And, here I am, walking...WITHOUT the walker. Sure, it has taken a while. And it is tiring. But, I am doing it, nonetheless. And, I am NOT stopping here.
Ok. Last bit of news, for this post.
The Bliss Baby Blanket.
I have decided that it is probably a good idea to meditate, before working on this particular project. I need to approach this one, with nothing but a peaceful disposition. (I think it knows when I am angry, or stressed. And, I think it feeds on it.)
Yesterday, after getting home from my appointment, I did a brief meditation, to calm myself. Then, I started working on the blanket. The whole time, I was repeating " I LOVE THIS PROJECT" , over and over again. And, I am pretty sure that the beer was not necessarily a bad idea either. 
It is still slow work. I still do not understand how Isela thinks this project can be worked up quickly. Maybe a machine could do it rapidly, but I know I can't.This blanket seems to be eternally ongoing. But, the good  news is this. I was able to (somewhat) convince myself that I enjoy working on it. The forced smile, on my face, became natural, in time. And, eventually, I really did begin to LOVE this project. (Ok. I still cannot wait to be done with it. But, at least I am able to have some fun, making it.)
I worked on it, until about 9pm. Then, it was time to go to bed. The heat, and my therapy appointment, had taken it out of me.
As for today...
Well, like I said, I will be on the hunt, for the PERFECT afghan. And, hopefully, I will find it, so I can start working on it.
That is it, for today...
Until tomorrow,
Happy looming, and crocheting.