Dear Kid,

Last night, Kenzie brought her new baby over to meet us. Baby is a 5-week-old adorable little girl.

When they got here, the Puppy rushed to greet them.

Puppy: I know you! You take care of me sometimes. Hello, hello, h…wait, something smells different. What is in the package?
Me: It’s a baby seat, not a package.
Puppy: I don’t know what a baby seat smells like, but I don’t think that’s right.
Me: This is Kenzie’s Baby.
Puppy: Hi Baby. Want to see my new bunny toy?

The Puppy fetched his bunny. I took the Baby out of her carrier. Kenzie fixed the Baby’s formula and let me feed her. The Puppy went nuts with jealousy.

Puppy: Pay attention to Me.
Me: I’m feeding the Baby.
Puppy: I’m the Baby. Pay attention to me.
Me: You’re adorable. The most magnificent four legged creature in the house. Settle down.
Puppy: ME. ME. ME!
Me: Go say hello to Kenzie.
Kenzie: Come here, silly.
Puppy: Pay attention to ME!!!
Kenzie: I can’t believe how jealous he is.
Me: Take your feet off the furniture.
Puppy: This is awful. I’m going inside.
Kenzie: He’s sulking!
Puppy: I’m not sulking. Don’t talk to me.
Kenzie: Poor Puppy.
Baby: Gerkljugh.
Me: Silly, isn’t he?
Kenzie: Oh, look. He came back. And he’s tearing all the stuffing out of his hedgehog.

Puppy (muttering under his breath and punctuating every word with another tuft of hedgehog stuffing): I. Am. The. Baby. No. Other. Babies. I am supposed to be the focus of attention.

Me: And you’re wonderful. And so is the Baby.
Puppy: But you’re paying attention to the Baby-thing and not to me.

Kenzie and talked about the Baby and being a new Mom. The Puppy poked me repeatedly. Then he went under my chair and popped me in the tush. Repeatedly. When that didn’t do much, he returned to poking me.

Eventually, the Baby decided to fuss a little and I handed her back to her Mom.

Which left my hands free to pet my baby.

Puppy: Which is more like it should be.
Me: Would you like to see the Baby?
Puppy: Of course not. Show me.
Me: This is the Baby.
Puppy: Sort of cute. She’s not staying, is she?
Me: Just for a little while.
Puppy: But not forever, right?
Me: No, not forever. Just for a little while.
Puppy: Well, ok then.

Love, Mom

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