Do you ever have one of those days when you wake up and the only thing on your mind is food? I'm having one of those days right now. I'm not particularly hungry I just have Food on the brain. And of course I am thinking about the kinds of food that would Fall into the poor choice category. I have learned a few things about myself recently as it relates to how I manage food. I've discovered that one unhealthy choice seems to encourage more of the same. Even when I am very engaged in the decision making. Case in point... a brief description of how yesterday went.

I knew in the morning that I would be heading to In and Out burger for lunch. So armed with that knowledge I decided a healthy breakfast was in order. Knowing full well that my lunch choice would blow my caloric budget for the day I was more concerned about balance and not simply allowing a free fall for the entire day. I like the term free fall as it relates to my life. When I make choices that support my goals I feel strong and in control. When I make opposite choices I call it a free fall because that is what it feels like....out of control and hopefully there is a safety net at the bottom.

So back to breakfast. I get to my work early and hang out in our very comfortable cafe in the mornings. The problem with that is we have some really good food choices and I can smell all of it. The smell of fresh biscuits and scones baking, sizzling bacon (oh pork fat is good!) and various other morning delights. It's pretty difficult to stare at a bowl of oatmeal with that going on. But most days I am able to ignore it all and focus on whatever I am doing that has nothing to do with food. I have learned to distract myself. But yesterday, oh boy was I in the mood for a free fall.

I haven't mentioned the desserts yet have I? Ok well I need to go off on a tangent about that for a moment. Stay with me. Our chef (yea, he's an actual chef), likes to make desserts. He makes one every week. Before he came, we had choices like brownies, cookies, and rice krispy treats- which I can easily avoid. But then he showed up and started creating the "dessert of the week"- very elaborate and creative bundles of sweetness. Easy to resist? Not so much. And everything is made from scratch. And they are good. I mean "I want to be alone with this" good. Lick the plate, don't share with others good. So sweets being my particular brand of kryptonite doesn't make it easy to avoid the dessert case. This week's poison- banana pudding. You know, layers of pudding, bananas, nilla wafers, and whipped cream. Fresh whipped cream- no cool whip here.

So I came in, saw the pudding in the case, and promptly purchased one. Ok no- that isn't exactly what happened. I'd like to think I was influenced by the sight of the pudding but I wasn't. I was influenced by the knowledge of its existence. It wasn't in the case at 6:30am. So I asked the chef if he could get me one from the back, and being the very kind and service oriented fellow he is, he could. So I had one MADE FOR ME. Ugh!

And I ate it. And it was good. I'd been subtly seduced by its presence all week and finally gave in to it. You see, I gave into it because I (falsely) convinced myself that the day was already shot calorically- even though I had yet to eat anything at that point- so why not just go there. This is a common trick I play on myself. And then I ate a cheeseburger animal style with fries at lunch. And then I went home and finally acknowledged a free fall was taking place. I had two choices, ignore it or stop the fall. I reminded myself that I had some goals in place that were blatantly being ignored at present. And chose to stop.

I had a light dinner and I was going to be ok. Even thought I have trials like the one above at the end of it all I know that I am going to be ok as long as I recognize what is happening. That is the difference between my actions now and my actions before. I stop what I am doing long enough to recognize it. If I can do that, I can stop a free fall from going too far.

That's the good news. The bad news is next week's dessert sounds pretty darn good too.