I have been very quiet on my blog for the last six months, not sure why this is the case, maybe I had nothing to say!! Its been a difficult time lately, what the up in the air Diagnosis of Epilepsy and my admission to being a self-harmer which has resulted in me being referred to a therapist. I have also begun the precarious task of really looking at myself, my thoughts and actions.

This really came about because I believe that I saw a person one day who in fact turned out not to be there. No big deal in that you may say!! Well, this has happened to me before and when I sat down and really looked at it I found it happens a lot. I already have olfactory hallucinations with my possible epilepsy, this being an aura or a lead up to a seizure, so why not have visual hallucinations too?

I am more and more having disassociative type feelings like am there but am detached from reality or something. This is something I have told my neurologist and adds weight to my epilepsy diagnosis. I have found myself searching the internet for stories or articles that describe how people feel with a host of different types of Mental Illness and have found that I share a commonality with a lot of these people.

The big question for me though is……. Do I WANT something to be wrong with me??

I cannot answer this, one for the professionals I think.

Getting back to this blog though, I am going to start to use it as a bit of a diary or log on my thoughts and feelings whatever they are. Some could get me into trouble I suppose, but I feel the need to get them out there so I at least can analyse them better. As ever these thoughts are for anybody to read and please leave comments and it does not matter if they are helpful or not, any comment is a good comment.

Also, because of the nature of the posts, they may be more than one post a day, or none for a few days, such is the up and down ride that mental illness give us all.

Thank you for reading, and cya soon.