Unlike IKEA, which is working to educate children the world over to give them a more enriched life, Urban Outfitters is looking to destroy the minds of children by turning them into hipsters.
Cinderella has appropriated Native American culture for her own freedom of expression like that evil Gretchen from Project Runway Season 8.
Pocahontas is wearing Native American garb to be Ironic - BUT IT ISN'T IRONIC!! Learn the meaning of irony hipster.
Snow White looks like she has become indifferent to all of the animals. Her haircut shows solidarity with the dwarves though. They are definitely little Hipsters with the beards and the tuque caps and all. Ok, Snow White becoming a hipster was inevitable because of her contact with the little woodsman hipsters. Ironically we think that the seven dwarves live in Portland now, renting out an ironic little apartment in Humboldt.
Ariel has a top that looks like fish's tail. That is clever. Very ironic. No one would have ever thought of that. You are so ingenious. We pale in comparison with your witticisms. We bow and worship at your feet. You sir, or lady, whomever has created this masterpiece are the epitome of satire.
We won't comment on Tiana. It is not because we don't have anything witty to say. It is not because of any thing deep or profound, only that we have not seen the movie and would rather withhold judgment until we have.
