The final semester for 2nd year ended few weeks ago, and we're on holiday for a full month. 

Before the semester exam, Kevin joined our group once more, which made me happy. We're still having fun until now, but..

    "I feel there's something missing.. something that wasn't been accomplished before.."

There is so many things that we had planned many years before, but never actually happened. We didn't do most of them, and we forget about it. I blamed my luck for that. Every single time we make a plan, one or two of them suddenly busy the day after, or lost interest for it. For example, our current plan is playing games together because we almost NEVER played a single game together. But Vutu got her team's research accepted by Koreans, which makes her busy until next month. Vuej lost interest to play any of the games and focuses on his own EDM project. I'll keep holding myself not to play the game until everyone is able to play for many days.

Everyone's acting weird, especially Kevin who is looking suspicious towards the others. That is news for me. He still likes to play games with me and making jokes together, but why seldom with the others..?

For some reason, he is rarely active and only asks me whether I want to play game with him. Vuej made me realize about it. This is not normal. This is not as before. And I feel that I don't have the power to fix it, and I don't have any courage to point their mistake straight to them.

All of the problems that we have made, makes me think twice if it's good to make them to be "The Best Friends". It feels a little too forced.. I think my brain made it up instead of my true feelings. I also have problems to one another as them. I think it's my fault, because I arrange so many things for them. I'm still looking for more proving that they purely make me as their best friend.

Since Vutu started to live in Bali, I was feeling a little lonely, that I can't meet her Face to face anymore. She missed so much good and funny things, so I try to record every single thing that is happening in school. Unfortunately, Vuej doesn't want me to record and deletes my recorded video. It makes me upset inside, but I don't want it to burst in front of him. I want to entertain her and make her able to see what is happening to us while having fun.

*Watch our videos here !
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXPLZrF038RtsVTaBjRd4sA/featured

"I want to make memories.. Unforgettable memories that make us remember each other forever before our graduation."

This morning, I heard a bad news from Vuej that he'll live at Jakarta after our graduation next year. His older sister marries my math teacher and they'll live in a new house next year. And that will leave his mother and himself. I was in complete silence, listening to Kingdom Hearts music, and ponder..

"If he easily accepts it, is it means that I did a fatal mistake in the past? If he's gone, then.. Is everything I did to him worthless? Or Was it my karma that overflowed and created this mess..? "

"I feel ashamed with myself that I disliked my classmates for two years straight. I should have interacted with them more.. Because I'll meet tons of strangers in the future, and being a lone wolf..."

"I seriously can't accept this, but it'll happen."

Next year, will be the last of me and Vuej to face each other in real life. Then, we'll walk on our own way of life. I'll never forget him as his best friend, and as his assistant. 

"Let's make more memories together.. and make them as fun as possible!"

--- 

To Vuej, Vut, and Keppu,

If you're reading this, I'd like to thank you very much for visiting and reading this by your very own will, which I won't share it on the chat group. I hope you'll understand my own perspective about our group. Even if you found this one or ten years later by yourselves, please.. keep this in your mind. 

" I'll remember all of you forever. "

- nemt / 荒神Arc