Some days I am 'Piggy VonPie', these days I refuse to feel guilty about anything I choose to ram down my cake hole, I eat an array of breakfasts which throughout the morning slowly merge into lunch, I buy cakes for the office because we deserve cakes some times chocolates too. Come dinner time I get my chef on and cook something beautifully indulgent, usually cheesy, but always carb loaded and serve it with crusty bread and real butter.
Other days I am 'Calorie Count VonPie' I restrict my calories, usually to somewhere between 500-700. On these days the mere thought of eating an egg without first removing the yolk is beyond reason. Healthy Zen Vonpie suggests an Avocado, "Avocado" Calorie Count VonPie exclaims, flabbergasted at the suggestion of consuming 234 calories and 21 grams of fats. She instead chooses a 10 calorie jelly pot and jumps on the scales.. again.
It would be a fair statement to say that in terms of Diet, I have multiple personalities. But if having multiple personalities is wrong then I don't want to be right, I mean yes I do, No no I don't but then again I do.
As a result, all of my diet personalities have come together and agreed on a diet that will work for us all. I'm sure that the whole world is now familiar with the 5:2 diet, the intermittent fasting diet whereby you can eat as you normally would for 5 days a week and 2 days a week restrict your calories to 500 each day (600 for men) and providing you have done it correctly you will create a calorie deficit and drop weight! Advocates of the diet also claim other benefits such as increased life span and improved cognitive function. Research has also shown evidence that the 5:2 diet could help towards a reduction in the risk of developing chronic diseases such as type 2 diabetes.
Where do I sign up?
Calorie Count VonPie has claimed the 2 fasting days as her own. The remaining 5 days are to be divided between Piggy VonPie and Healthy Zen VonPie. In order for this diet to work, I think it's best that I allocate four days to Healthy Zen and just one day to Piggy.
On my fasting days, I will take Holland & Barrett's Glucomannan. From what I understand Glucomannan is water soluble fiber extracted from a plant called Konjac, it must be taken with lots of water and it acts as an appetite suppressant. Glucomannan absorbs water, my guess is that it absorbs the water inside your stomach and therefore makes you feel full. It works for me.
Here is an example of what I will eat on a fasting day to stay within my 500 calorie budget:
Breakfast
Mushroom & Egg White Omelette 83 Calories
1 cup of sliced mushrooms - 15 Calories
4 Egg Whites - 68 Calories
Cooked in 1 Calorie Oil Spray
Lunch
Soup & Bread - 151 Calories
1 whole tin of Heinz Weight Watchers Chicken Potato & Leek Soup - 96 Calories
1 Slice of Warbutons Wholemeal Bread from a 400g loaf - 55 Calories
Snack
Batchelors Chicken Cup A Soup 83 Calories
(I will have this around 5.30, in order to eat my dinner later and eliminate the urge to eat before bed)
Dinner
Tuna Stir Fry 163 Calories
Tesco Pepper Stir Fry, half a bag - 58 Calories
100g of Tuna Steak - 105 Calories
Fry the tuna steak in 1 calorie oil spray and serve on on top of the stir fried veg, season with Chinese 5 spice, a small amount of soy sauce and S&P.
Dessert is 1 Hartleys 10 calorie jelly
Total Calories = 490
I know that this isn't a huge amount of food to get by on all day but, if this is just for 2 days out of 7 I think it's totally do-able. I will try to do my fast days on Tuesday and Thursdays and my Piggy
VonPie day on Sundays, leaving Monday, Wednesday, Friday & Saturday to unleash 'Healthy Zen VonPie.
On Healthy Zen Days I will aim to aim to eat 3 balanced meals a day, filling my plates with vegetables and unprocessed high-quality proteins. Breakfast will be some kind of smashed Avocado with Poached Eggs and Smoked Salmon, naturally.
I will probably make 'super food' smoothies packed with Kiwi, Kale, Spinach, Flaxseed, Beets and other Instagram worthy ingredients.
I will snack on Nuts and Fruit and drink plenty of water and swap my milky coffees for herbal teas.
My days will come to a close, not before a super long walk around the local reservoir, maybe I might post on Instagram a screen shot of my all green goals met Fitbit home screen or a candid picture which I will ask my friend to take of me walking through nature with my French Bulldog; my not so fashionable Jack Russel cross unfortunately won't make it to the Instagram shot.
That know-it-all hippie b*#ch 'Healthy Zen VonPie' will be pleased.
When Sunday comes around Piggy VonPie will jump and dance and sing and shout. On Sundays, we like to wake when we are good and ready and not a second earlier. I will drag myself down the stairs and through to the kitchen, where I stick the kettle on and grill some Bacon.
Snuggling my dogs on the kitchen floor whilst waiting for the Bacon to crisp, this makes me happy.
Once the kettle is brewed and the Bacon Crisp I take my Bacon Sarnie and Milky Coffee back up to bed with me, the dogs sneak in too, and there we stay until Monty Don, Nigel & Nel have said goodbye; I watch Gardeners World on plus one so by this time it's approaching 10am.
If I feel ready for the day I will get up and begin to think about what to next eat.
Sundays are usually spent in the kitchen, grazing and cooking up a feast, nothing short of a Roast will do. The meat of choice is slow cooked all day and the juices and fats saved for a gravy, minted peas, buttery cabbage, honey roast carrots and cauliflower cheese are some of the usual veggies. For the potatoes I like to follow Jamie Oliver's 'Perfect Roast Potatoes' recipe, the flavouring usually depending on what meat I serve or what ingredients I have in stock. In my house, a Roast isn't even a Roast without huge home made Yorkshire Puddings and plenty of them.
My Fella and I might call to the pub for a little while as the Meat cooks. It's Piggy VonPie's Sunday so I choose maybe a Fruit Cider or a large Wine (or both) over the less calorie dense Gin & Slim, I don't worry about calories as I ask the barmaid for a bag or Porky's scratchings.
I am hoping that this '4:2:1' diet controls all of my diet personalities whilst slowly reducing my waist band and increasing my thigh gap.
Maybe this will be the diet of all the diets that I stick to and steadily loose some timber and come January, which is when I go to India, I will be a gloriously slim globe trotting chic babe, who writes a blog and posts pictures in front of the Taj Mahal or maybe I will just be drunk, full of Onion Baji's, and commonly mistaken for Buddah. Who knows?
I am going to let my foodie personalities battle it out, until Monday when I start my new and carefully thought out '4:2:1' diet because today is Thursday and it would be absolutely ludicrous to start a diet mid-week.
Thanks for reading, feel free to leave a comment and let me know your thoughts on my posts.
