Building Confidence is a complex process that starts with our behaviour. Let’s look at two real life examples from interactions I had with Jill and Jane (not their real names). Jill sends us a message saying she is not confident and was wondering if training Krav Maga could help her. I explain what we do and Jill books a trial class. However, when she doesn’t turn up (and doesn’t cancel), I follow up. Jill’s story is that she thought the booking was for next Monday, not the one she missed. This is despite her receiving a booking confirmation e-mail as well as a reminder. I give her the benefit of the doubt and she re-books for the following Monday. Next Monday, Jill doesn’t turn up and doesn’t cancel again. I follow up again, and this time, the story is she got stuck at work and she’ll book again. You can see a pattern here. We never heard from Jill again.
Around the same time Jill was enquiring about boosting her confidence with Krav Maga classes, Jane calls us and says she just arrived to the country on a work visa and doesn’t have a job yet, but she hopes to get one soon and would like to try our class, so I let her book her trial with us. A few days later, I hear from Jane and she says she’s got a job but may be 15 minutes late to the trial class if her employer doesn’t let her leave before her shift is over. Jane turns up at the trial class on time, loves it and joins the club on the spot. Since joining, Jane doesn’t miss a single class, and her progress is amazing.
There are lessons to be learned from both experiences. Not once did Jill do what she said. Usually, people behaving in this way, coming up with excuses to cover what can only be termed as flakiness, are essentially setting themselves up for failure. "I'm going to be there", but they don’t show up, "I'm going to call you", but they never do, "I'm going to train hard", but they're never going to do it; that sort of stuff does not go unnoticed. If they're always saying things they don’t actually mean, their mind is recording this, their subconsciousness is recording this, and they keep programming themselves for a lifetime of self-doubt.
On the other hand, Jane did exactly what she said every time, and we witnessed Jane’s confidence growing with every training session. The bottom line is that confidence does not happen on its own without people having to put the required work in. It is not served on a silver platter just by booking a trial class (and not showing up), or joining a Krav Maga club and paying the membership fee (but not training afterwards). To reap the benefits of all of the aspects of the authentic Krav Maga training at Krav Fighter, members have to be committed to training, and need to train consistently. Those who do, experience the positive changes our way of training Krav Maga & Self Defence brings to their lives, and their confidence keeps growing as they progress through our training programme. Krav Fighter training includes Krav Maga Ability Tests or Grading Events where members are challenged physically and mentally over a period of 4-6 hours, and Krav Maga Intensive Course weekends that include Ability Tests at the end of each day lasting 8 hours. Both of these events are exemplary confidence boosters. While the participation in these events is not compulsory, every single person who trained and was tested in one or more of these events has seen their skill, mental toughness as well as confidence sky rocket every time.
In case you’re asking yourself what is the reason for putting the people through such an evaluation regime, the answer is simple: If a person can focus on defending themselves and surviving under complete exhaustion during the ability test, they'll be confident to do whatever is necessary to survive in case of a real life attack. We should never under-estimate how stressful it is when we are being attacked in real life, and to have the confidence required to protect ourselves, the elements of stress and pressure have to be present in our training and assessments. Unlike earning the ‘grade’ or ‘belt’ for just demonstrating you can execute various strikes on a kick boxing bag that doesn't kick back, the confidence gained through quality training will not evaporate the first time we're confronted by a violent, determined attacker with intent.
If you want to develop great self defence skills, become confident and improve your fitness, the solution is simple. Start doing the opposite to what you're doing now. Start training consistently rather than beating around the bush with booking trial classes and not following through. Start focusing on what you're doing, ask questions, think about things you end up learning, take notes, attend the courses & workshops in addition to the regular classes. Start believing in yourself.
If you want to be confident, it really is as simple as this: do what you say, say what you do. If you're not going to do it, don't say it. If you say it, do it. If you promise yourself you're going to do something, do it, keep your promises, keep your word. Set baby steps, small goals, and as you achieve them, your brain will start recording that you're always doing what you say, that you're achieving things you set out to achieve, step by step. Take this behaviour and attitude from Krav Maga & Self Defence training to everywhere else in your life and before you know it, you’ll have confidence, self belief, and self respect.
To make the first step towards a more confident, fitter and safer self, book your Trial Class with Krav Fighter!
