But I think the best way to pamper yourself is to stop lying to yourself. Yes, that sounds a little brutal, but it’s true. Over the past few years, my two favorite words have become “it’s fine” and they are probably the worst words to use on a regular basis. My closest people know that when I say “it’s fine,” it’s generally not fine. And it’s my way of saying it’s time to drop whatever topic they are trying to talk about because I don’t want to talk about it for a number of reasons.
Now, it’s my time to drop it.
Why? Five good reasons:
1. It’s complete avoidance of the topic. Yes, tough topics sometimes suck… but they suck a little more when you let them build up and don’t address them right away. If I could’ve realized this years ago, I would’ve saved myself a lot of pain.
2. Everyone knows that’s what you are doing. It’s so obvious. And it’s kind of annoying when you are on the receiving end, which I feel like I can say since I’m a prime user of “it’s fine.”
3. Things are so much better when you admit your feelings. Even if it’s just to yourself. It just makes it better for everyone.
4. You can’t fix it if you don’t admit there’s a problem. If you keep telling yourself that it’s fine, eventually you will believe it and you won’t think you have to fix it.
5. You only live this life once. I mean, that’s a little dramatic. But life is short, so spend it being you and not being dragged down by what’s happened in the past.
Whether it’s “it’s fine” or some other catch phrase that you use all the time, the best thing you can do for yourself is work towards not saying it.
I posted some thoughts from my run yesterday (yes! I ran! yay!) on Instagram, and one of the things I was thinking about during this run was how many times I’ve said “it’s fine” about this week’s race. Yes, it’s just a race but at the same time, I feel like your emotions are so raw after a marathon… that for some reason, it seems to drudge up other things that are completely unrelated to the race.
And lastly: the true meaning of strength. I used to think that strong people didn’t fail; but now I realize that the true measure of strength comes from being able to pick yourself up after you fail, and keep going. To do that, you need to be honest with yourself about the situation, your accountability and what you need to do to move forward.
Do you have a few words that people know mean to drop a topic?
And to lighten the mood: what are you up to this weekend?