Job loss or business failure, domestic Partner or business partner, there are several things you MUST consider as strategies if you want to “bite the recession” together and come out of these hard times with your integrity intact, if not your relationship:

1.- BACK OFF AND SLOW DOWN – If you are emotionally hurting, then you can’t think as quickly and precisely as if your head and heart were clear. You may be compromising your own principles and values. In these tough times, many factors weigh upon you when you are making decisions. Snap/snappy judgments will most often be as damaging to your relationship with your partner as they can be for your financial bottom line. You are a human being, capable of self-awareness and independent thinking like no other creature. Use these inherent abilities to your advantage when you are faced with anything more than the most irrelevant decisions you are required to make. But you must be able to discern their relevancy, frequently to anticipated results in many areas, before you make those decisions. Plus, the way you physically respond to the required decision-making process can, and most likely will, affect everyone around you. If you are in a position of power and angrily shout out a terse proclamation of your decision to your partner, that partner might next have to deal with a group of employees, associates, friends, etc. If you and your partner are emotionally invested in one another, you can easily hurt your partner’s feelings. We all have them. Later, you may hear back that your partner took out those hurt feelings on those employees, associates, friends, etc., compounding the problem exponentially. Those people may have reacted by fuming around everyone they dealt with until, at the end of the day, they are still carrying the wounds when they return home and take it out on their domestic partner. After that, the partner takes it out on the kids and, before you know it, the kids are kicking the dog or cat! Slow down and let your principles and values guide you before you can have such a negative effect on so many other beings.

2.- PUT YOUR HEADS TOGETHER – Does this sound obvious? Financial problems are the number one cause of divorce, whether from your domestic partner or business partner. When you examine the underlying reasons, it almost always comes back to you or your partner’s unspoken expectations and feelings that one of you isn’t holding up your end. Anger, resentment and frustration can simmer under the surface of either or both of you if one of you feels that the other is not holding up his/her end. You or your partner may not catch all the signals and may misinterpret the ones they do. This is neither fair nor equitable for either of you. You MUST discuss your issues and concerns together, even if you have to enlist the help of a neutral third party. In this economic climate your very survival depends on being able to work together to maintain your mental soundness, emotional stability, and physical and financial health. Now, more than ever, is the time to work on your relationship skills as well as the skills you possess that are essential to your financial well-being. Improve yourself first. Even if you can deal with the emotional side of a split, can you handle the economic downside right now? If you can’t afford a separation, then call a truce and work for a common goal, one goal at a time if necessary. You and your partner have the capacity to bring out the best in each other.

Have you, together, rationally examined ways to maintain your current income or augment it? Can you put in more time and energy or learn some new skills? Put down the remote or the mouse and make better use of your time. Maybe that even involves the remote or the mouse. Only you can make that final decision to take the correct action.

3.- MAKE CHANGES TO YOUR ENVIRONMENT – Even small changes can have a huge effect on you and those around you. If you feel like you have a lot of time on your hands, use it productively. It doesn’t cost a lot of money to paint a room or thoroughly clean an area that’s been left lacking for awhile. Make things sparkle and you will, too! Start with small areas that are your own private areas. Rearrange things. Put things that you associate with good feelings and happy memories close by, in plain sight. Find a picture of your partner that reminds you of a great time you once had together and put it on your desk, dresser, or the wall above your computer. If you have a reminder of a great time you had with your partner, you will find it much harder to be negative or overly critical of that partner now. Then move your positive ‘change’ attitude into a space that you share with your partner and see what you both can come up with for mutually inspiring changes you can make there. It can be a workspace, preparation, or maintenance area, whether business or personal. This will help relieve any tension between you and help you reconnect. Even if you have to downsize, such as moving into smaller offices or shop space, or a smaller house or apartment, treat it as a positive opportunity to start again and to redefine yourself. You are not alone in this respect, in this economy. Just make sure that those around you are not dragging you down with their negativity or lack of support. Change your friends and associates, too, if necessary to bring yourself up and out of your doldrums. Choose to be around those people only who you respect and admire. Act with respect yourself to anyone with whom you have dealings. Anything less won’t do and you will improve yourself and your situation without even noticing it.

4.- TAKE TIME FOR AN ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT – Most people have a tendency to retreat into themselves when times are tough, and that includes both you and your partner. This is the WORST thing you can do right now. Whether you are feeling useless and friendless, angry, depressed, unfocussed or directionless, you are the only one capable of changing those feelings. Whether you feel you need help of some kind, or you feel you can get over it by yourself, neither will happen without you taking action. Improve yourself. Your partner may be having similar feelings. You have value – both to yourself and your partner, in spite of your current feelings. You are probably being your own worst critic and will find that taking any kind of positive action toward resolving these feelings will make a huge difference in your life as well as your partner’s. You can help each other by discussing your issues with as much consideration for your partner’s emotions as for your own. Focus on the emotional issues first so that you can discuss the business &/or financial issues without losing any of your self-control or integrity. You have the capacity to step back from the situation and look at it, and yourself, through a more objective lens. It may take practice, but you can do it. Two of you, together, can exist more efficiently and produce more effectively than each of you, separately, could ever accomplish. Only consider divorce from your partner as a very last resort in these stressful and tough financial times. These are just some general strategies of which you need to have an understanding in order to survive The Recession and even prosper. Improve yourself. Even small changes can have a big effect on your emotional AND financial bottom lines.  What kind of small changes have had a large effect on you?  Reply/Comment on the bottom (we’d really like to hear from you!).

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